/ She's a brick ... house /
The first Dr Sketchy of the New Year was quite simply one of the best ever. In fact last Wednesday night at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern felt like
Dr Sketchy being plunged back to its classic golden age (or age d’or, if you
prefer).
First of all, hostess with the mostest (or should that be “moistest”?), emcee Ophelia Bitz was back in charge of proceedings and on raunchy form. Think of her as the toilet-mouthed and debauched Tallulah Bankhead du nos jours. Bad girl of cabaret Ophelia and her boyfriend upped sticks and re-located to Bristol a while back, so this was a rare London appearance (I’m pretty sure I hadn't seen her since Bestival 2012). Boy, do we miss her at Dr Sketchy. Resplendent in gold sequins, at one point she apologised to the crowd for not having washed beforehand and explained Febreeze is the patron saint of cabaret. Later, circulating through the crowd and glancing at their drawings, she stopped at one, exclaimed, “That’s disgusting!” and gave a filthy cackle.
First of all, hostess with the mostest (or should that be “moistest”?), emcee Ophelia Bitz was back in charge of proceedings and on raunchy form. Think of her as the toilet-mouthed and debauched Tallulah Bankhead du nos jours. Bad girl of cabaret Ophelia and her boyfriend upped sticks and re-located to Bristol a while back, so this was a rare London appearance (I’m pretty sure I hadn't seen her since Bestival 2012). Boy, do we miss her at Dr Sketchy. Resplendent in gold sequins, at one point she apologised to the crowd for not having washed beforehand and explained Febreeze is the patron saint of cabaret. Later, circulating through the crowd and glancing at their drawings, she stopped at one, exclaimed, “That’s disgusting!” and gave a filthy cackle.
/ Filthiest Woman Alive? Ophelia Bitz channeling Divine in Pink Flamingos /
Both of the night’s guest performers / models, Amelie Soleil and Fancy Chance, were cabaret crème de la crème and Dr Sketchy doyennes who hadn't performed for us in ages. I’d only ever seen “Britain’s Tiniest Tease” Soleil once before (at the May 2012 Dr Sketchy at The Old Queen’s Head) and didn't recognise her at first at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern: she’s since shuttled from blonde to Ann-Margret not-found-in-nature red. (Needless to say I slipped in an Ann-Margret track while Soleil modeled – not that I need much excuse).
/ Totally gratuitous cheesecake bathing suit “glamour shot” of Fancy Chance at Bestival 2012 – just for the hell of it /
Like with Ophelia, I hadn't seen maverick burlesque comedienne Fancy Chance since Dr Sketchy and Time for Tease at Bestival 2012. Chance’s routine was certainly au courant: Prince has been causing a sensation in London lately, playing tiny intimate gigs that instantly sell out. The savvy Chance dusted off her Prince tribute act (she howls along and strips to “Kiss”) and was probably far more entertaining than the genuine article himself these days. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I don’t have any Prince tracks in my collection. But figuring Chance in male drag (with her tousled pompadour bouffant wig and pencil-line pimp mustache) looked just as much like Little Richard, Esquerita or Masaaki Hirao as Prince, I cranked-up songs by them during her poses instead.
/ Sadly, we never seem to get people taking and submitting photos at Dr Sketchy anymore, but to give you a flavour, here is the sublime Fancy Chance doing her Prince act at the Time for Tease tent at Bestival 2012 /
Musically, as usual at Dr Sketchy I sought to induce a
sleazy atomic era nightclub ambiance (DJ’ing at an old-school darkened cabaret
venue with red velvet curtains and candles on the tables is certainly inspiring)
via greasy rhythm and blues (Ike and Tina, Big Maybelle), bump’n’grind titty
shaker instrumentals, cooing sex kittens (Eartha, Jayne, Ann-Margret) songs swiped
from John Waters, Kenneth Anger and David Lynch soundtracks, discordant post-punk
death-jazz skronk (Lydia Lunch) and just plain weird shit (Edith Massey slaughtering
“Fever”).
/ Historic Encounter Between Exotica High Royalty: Yma Sumac (1922-2008) and Korla Pandit (1921-1998) crossing paths in the early 1980s. We are not worthy ... /
/ Korla Pandit (and a very pretty Asian male dancer) in action in his 1950s prime. Look deep into his eyes /
Love Song of the Nile - Korla Pandit
Ataypura (High Andes) - Yma Sumac
Voodoo Dreams / Voodoo - Les Baxter
Kizmiaz - The Cramps
Cafe Bohemian - The Enchanters
Monkey Bird - The Revels
Mamma's Place - Bing Day
Fever - Edith Massey
One Monkey Don't Stop No Show - Big Maybelle
Ain't That Good? George Kelly and Orchestra
Night Scene - The Rumblers
A Cruise to the Moon - Lydia Lunch
One Mint Julep - Sarah Vaughan
Not Me - Robert Mitchum
Go Calypso - Mamie Van Doren
The Coo - Wayne Cochran
I'm a Bad, Bad Girl - Little Esther
Here Comes the Bug - The Rumblers
Mambo Baby - Ruth Brown
She Wants to Mambo - Johnny Thunders and Patti Palladin
Little Darlin' - Masaaki Hirao
Love Letters - Ike and Tina Turner
Blue Velvet - Bobby Vinton
Bombora - The Original Surfaris
Nobody Taught Me - Eartha Kitt
Where Flamingos Fly - Linda Lawson
Dream Lover - The Paris Sisters
Shangri-la - Spike Jones New Band
You're My Thrill - Dolores Gray
The Stripper - John Barry (Beat Girl soundtrack)
Heartbreak Hotel - Ann-Margret
Black Tarantula - Jody Reynolds
Slow Walk - Sil Austin
The Flirt - Shirley and Lee
Welfare Cheese - Emanuel Lanskey
You're Driving Me Crazy - Dorothy Berry
Kruschev Twist - Melvin Gayle
Margaya - The Fender Four
Jaguar - The Jaguars
Esquerita and The Voola - Esquerita
Jailhouse Rock - Masaaki Hirao
Lucille - Little Richard
My Boy Lollipop - Sakura and the Quests
I Walk Like Jayne Mansfield - The 5,6,7,8s
That Makes It - Jayne Mansfield
Hiasmina - Jean Seberg
Crazy Vibrations - The Bikinis
Sexe - Line Renaud
Je t'aime moi non plus ... Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot
Begin the Beguine - Lynn Rockwell
Mack the Knife - Hildegard Knef
Kool Kat Walk - Julee Cruise
Intoxica - The Revels
Chicken Grabber - The Nite Hawks
Cry-baby - The Honey Sisters
Roll with Me, Henry - Etta James
Tina's Dilemma - Ike and Tina Turner
The Girl Can't Help It - Little Richard
Bossa Nova Baby - Elvis Presley
Moi je joue - Brigitte Bardot
