The
Grim Reaper (1976). Tagline: “The explosive motion picture about Satan’s
demonic army!” I’m using this period of enforced social isolation to explore
the weirder corners of YouTube for long forgotten and obscure movies. (My boyfriend Pal is accompanying
me only semi-willingly). I must admit, this is a new one on me: Grindhouse
Gospel, also known as Christploitation or Godsploitation. (Definition: “a sub-genre of exploitation film that uses shock, gore or horror-elements to promote Christianity”). Deranged Baptist propaganda flick The Grim Reaper is by
the undisputed maestro of Christploitation, director Ron Ormond (1910 - 1981). Originally,
hack-for-hire Ormond made straightforwardly lewd and titillating exploitation cheapies with
titles like Mesa of Lost Women (1953), Untamed Mistress (1956), Please Don’t
Touch Me (1963) and Monster and The Stripper (1968). Once Ormond and
his family became “born again” and embraced evangelical Christianity in the
early seventies, he exclusively focused on fear-mongering religious movies
(beginning with If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? (1972)), but
still employing the same low budgets and sensational schlocky approach of his
earlier work. In cautionary tale The Grim Reaper, parents Verne and Ruby fret
because their son Frankie is insufficiently pious (in fact, he says things like
“This religion thing is your scene, not mine!” and “Religion? Not for this
dude. No way!”). Inevitably, when Frankie is killed in a car accident – he goes
straight to hell! Tormented by nightmarish visions of their son, the grieving
parents embark on a quest to save his soul from beyond the grave, unwisely dabbling
in seances, occultism and spirituality before being steered back onto the right
course. (Note: the film’s casual trashing of other religions is in shockingly
bad taste). This scenario barely hints at The Grim Reaper’s lunatic tangents
(it’s been correctly described as “naive surrealism”). Ormond was surely the Ed
Wood Jr of his genre. Like Wood, he’s inept but also never allowed his
considerable budgetary restrictions (in this case, the equivalent of a Sunday
school play production) limit his ambitiously twisted vision. There are
flashbacks to ancient Biblical reenactments and – best of all – mind-boggling
glimpses of fiery hell, where the demons wear dime store Halloween monster
masks. Impossible to describe, these latter segments are like delirious,
hallucinatory fever dreams and make The Grim Reaper essential viewing for
aficionados of Bad Movies We Love. (Warning: this film features a superstar guest
appearance by televangelist Reverend Jerry Falwell).
/ This is what low-budget hell looks like! Via / I first read about The Grim
Reaper in the book High Camp: A Gay Guide to Camp and Cult Films, Vol 2 by Paul
Roen (1997) – a sacred religious text in this household. After approvingly citing
the outrageous bouffant wig leading lady Viola Walden (who plays Ruby) sports
throughout, Rouen concludes, “approximately twenty years too old for her
middle-aged role, she exhibits an amateurish enthusiasm which reminded me of
the late, great Edith Massey. Ah, what histrionic wonders Walden might have
wrought, if only John Waters had discovered her before Ron Ormond did!” (Sadly,
Viola Walden is such an obscure figure there are seemingly no decent photos of
her on the internet - but here is a screen grab).
Get on your knees, repent and watch The Grim Reaper here ... before it's too late!
/ Check out the wiglet! Via / This synopsis barely hints at the insanity of The Big Cube, an oddity from the late sixties period when Old Hollywood was in its flailing death throes and struggling to lure the youth market. It’s easy to see why 48-year old Turner was attracted to the film. The Big Cube is reminiscent of her successful earlier Ross Hunter-produced atomic-era melodramas, but with the formula updated with a “youthquake” twist of countercultural psychedelia, complete with drug-taking, orgiastic groovy party scenes and topless go-go dancers! I can imagine Turner reading the script and loving all the big emotional confrontations and juicy demanding nervous breakdown scenes. It must have looked like an opportunity to rejuvenate her image with something edgy, modern and “with it”, with the additional bonus of a youthful “mod” wardrobe of mini-dresses, caftans and go-go boots by Travilla (the costume designer behind Valley of the Dolls), gauzy soft-focus close-ups and an assortment of baroque wedding cake-like hair pieces. (In some shots Turner almost resembles Nancy Sinatra!).
How could she have anticipated that The Big Cube would be a mortifying fiasco and essentially finish her career? (Turner wouldn’t make another film appearance for six years). George (West Side Story) Chakiris is extremely unappealing as the villainous Johnny, so I guess he's perfect in Cube. (Those turtleneck sweaters and ankh pendants he wears throughout do him no favours). As Lisa, fashion model-turned-untalented actress Karin Mossberg is simply catastrophic. You’ll note that the presumably American Lisa has an inexplicable Swedish accent (the plot tries to cover this by reminding us she attended a Swiss finishing school. That explains it!). But while Mossberg is merely bad (stilted, wooden, affected), old pro Turner is majestically terrible and glorious to watch, especially at her most tormented. And the art-y lighting effects used in Turner’s bad trip freak-outs are worthy of Andy Warhol’s Exploding Plastic Inevitable. The definition of “bad movies we love”, The Big Cube is a mind-blowing fun time - for all the wrong reasons! Watch The Big Cube here.
Further reading:
My analysis of the 1965 Lana Turner melodrama Love Has Many Faces.
Tam
Lin (1970). Also known as: The Ballad of Tam-Lin, The Devil's
Widow and The Devil's Woman. Tagline: “She drained them of their
manhood – and then of their lives!” I’m using this period of enforced social
isolation to explore the weirder corners of YouTube for long forgotten and
obscure movies. (My boyfriend Pal is accompanying me only semi-willingly). At
the close of the permissive sixties, aging Old Hollywood female stars gamely went
Mod and experimental to extend their faltering careers. Think of Elizabeth Taylor in Boom! (1968), Jennifer Jones in the freaky Angel, Angel Down We Go
(1969) or Lana Turner buggin’ out in the LSD flick The Big Cube (1969). Veteran
screen goddess Ava Gardner’s equivalent is the strange, unsettling and uncategorizable Tam Lin.
Deceptively
marketed as a lurid exploitation movie, Tam Lin (the sole directorial credit by
actor and former child star Roddy McDowell and clearly a deeply-felt personal
art statement for him) is actually a dreamlike, deliberately paced, flawed but interesting
occult fable set in rural Scotland. In terms of rustic folk horror, Tam Lin
anticipates The Wicker Man (1973) and Midsommar (2019). Gardner stars as Michaela
Cazaret, a fabulously wealthy, cosmopolitan and mysterious older woman-of-the-world
who is in fact the “Queen of the Fairies”, a sorceress who presides over a
cult-like entourage of swinging pretty young things of both genders. Her coven
is played by a who’s who of future British acting notables, including Ian
McShane, Joanna Lumley, Sinaed Cusack and Bruce Robinson. McShane (who is
heartbreakingly handsome and gets a very memorable nude scene) is Michaela’s
younger male plaything. When he dares to fall in love with the vicar’s virtuous
daughter (Stephanie Beacham), the jilted Michaela vows revenge and the tone turns
increasingly ominous. (Towards the end, Michaela’s brainwashed coterie even
begins to suggest the Manson Family).
Not all of Tam Lin works - there are some
naff “whimsical” moments typical of the era (characters playing Frisbee … in
slow motion! JoJo Lumley is unintentionally hilarious when she solemnly
declares, “Life is an illusion. Therefore,
nothing is permanent. I think I shall go to Sweden”). But the cinematography is
spectacular, the mood is entrancing, and the soulfully ravaged and mature
47-year old Gardner is simply magnificent striding around imperiously in a series
of haute couture brocade robes and chiffon caftans by Balmain. At the zenith of
her stardom in the forties and fifties, Gardner didn’t always apply herself onscreen
and was frequently content to sleep-walk through her films. I suspect I’m in
the minority here, but I’d argue Tam Lin represents Gardner at the height of
her powers. She was never better than in a nightclub scene where Gardner and
McShane morosely drink brandy, smoke cigarettes and listen to a female blues
singer. Using only her eyes, Gardner conveys the dawning painful realization
that the romance is over, and she’s already lost him. Her mood swings are mesmerizing
to watch, and she becomes genuinely scary as the film proceeds.
Unfortunately,
almost no one saw Gardner’s performance. A seemingly jinxed film, Tam Lin was
shelved when the production company went bust. It stayed in the vault until
1972, when it was radically edited without McDowell’s consent and briefly
released under the title The Devil’s Widow. The version on YouTube is
apparently the closest equivalent to McDowell’s original vision. Tam Lin casts a spell and deserves to be better-known. Watch Tam Lin here.
Monster and The Stripper (1968). Also
known as: The Exotic Ones.Tagline:
“WARNING! Unless you can stand vivid realism … IT MIGHT SNAP YOUR MIND!” I’m
using this period of enforced social isolation to explore the weirder corners
of YouTube for long forgotten and obscure movies. (My boyfriend Pal is accompanying me only
semi-willingly).The
title of this dirt-cheap exploitation flick directed by Ron Ormond couldn’t be
more gloriously literal. The acme of sixties trash cinema, it heedlessly smashes-together
a horror movie with post-Russ Meyer “nudie cutie” sexploitation with idiot glee.
The result is vintage sleaze-o-rama at its best / worst and precisely the kind
of film that fired the imagination of Lux Interior and Poison Ivy of The Cramps.
/ This is not a guarantee of quality /
As the breathless narrator emphatically
establishes in the introduction, Monster is set in New Orleans (“the Paris of
America!”) on “a street they call Bourbon” in a city that’s “sleepy by day,
psychedelic by night … Bourbon Street …
the jungle of human flesh! Where the high and the low life meet! A street that
pulses like a living heartbeat!” (The frantic opening montage of atomic-era New
Orleans in all its tawdry glory alone makes Monster worth watching). The
premise: Nemo’s Strip Club on Bourbon Street is in dire financial straits. They
urgently need a spectacular new nightclub act to lure in the crowds. What if Nemo’s
gangster henchmen could capture the elusive Swamp Monster who’s been terrorizing
the Louisiana bayous, brutally killing livestock (and
people) and display him in chains onstage with their strippers? What could possibly
go wrong?
/ A documentary glimpse of Mardi Gras revelry in New Orleans, circa 1968 /
/ Surely this strip club sign counts as naive outsider folk art? Is that a mutant cat / human with boobs? /
Factors to bear in mind: Monster was the
last “dirty movie” hack director Ormond (1910 - 1981) made before he found
religion and subsequently devoted himself exclusively to Christian-themed “Grindhouse
Gospel” films. In theory, this is a “monster movie” but truthfully that aspect
is almost an afterthought. (The swamp monster doesn't make a proper appearance until an hour into the film). Mostly, Monster is an opportunity to watch a
seemingly endless procession of strippers, go-go dancers and various low-rent
novelty acts (i.e. a father and daughter duet act, a harmonica-playing duo) performing
onstage in a vaudeville revue. In this regard, Monster is firmly reminiscent of
Russ Meyer’s Mondo Topless (1966), Steven C Apostolof’s Orgy of the Dead (1965)
or earlier burlesque showcase films like Varietease (1954) or Teaserama (1955).
/ A "classy" burlesque performer onstage at Nemo's: I'm entranced by this shocking pink lighting used throughout Monster and The Stripper /
/ That harmonica duo! /
/ Above: Nemo's sin-sational star attraction - Titania (Georgette Dante). Doesn't she look like a J H Lynch painting come to life with that beehive hairdo? /
For the Ormond clan, film-making was a nepotistic
family affair and they shamelessly cast themselves in lead roles here. To his
credit, as well as directing patriarch Ron portrays crime boss and nightclub
proprietor Nemo with convincing sleazy menace, disguised in dark glasses, a mustache
and a shaggy Beatles moptop (not a wig as sometimes reported - unless it's a
wig with a deliberate bald spot). As talent manager Bunny, Ormond’s bouffant-haired
wife and producer June Ormond overacts furiously in deliberately kitsch “groovy
granny” mode, winking, rolling her eyes and exclaiming “Okie Dokie!” in a baby
voice. June also gets her own bizarre fan dance burlesque number (earlier in
life, June had trod the boards in vaudeville). Monster also makes a brazenly transparent
attempt to turn the Ormond’s twink-y adolescent son Tim into a teen heartthrob. (He even gets to croon his own mercifully brief sappy ballad in the Ricky Nelson
tradition. Lyrics: “The hurt goes on and on and on and on …”).
/ The King and Queen of Exploitation Cinema: Ron and June Ormond /
/ "He takes life by the throat and bends it to his own satisfaction!" Ron Ormond as ruthless club owner Nemo /
/ The key players at Nemo's club: Nemo himself, headliner Titania and emcee Gordon (Gordon Taylor) /
/ Bunny and Titania: so much style crammed into one photo /
/ First Lady of Exploitation June Ormond as elderly ex-stripper Bunny /
/ Bunny's fan dance /
/ Teen idol Tim Ormond. Sigh! /
The grunting titular monster is played by hulking
6’5” rockabilly musician Sleepy LaBeef with glue-on werewolf eyebrows, novelty
shop teeth, a fright wig and a caveman loincloth. LaBeef had zero acting
experience, but he ticked many other of the right boxes: he possessed the
towering physique required for the role, he was available, and he was the
Ormonds’ neighbour at the time. Note that the rural hillbilly characters call
the monster “Swamp Thang.” (An aside: I got to see esteemed Sun Records
recording artist LaBeef perform at Viva Las Vegas Rockabilly Weekenders over
the years. He died in 2019 aged 84).
/ Swamp Monster Attacks! /
Monster’s subplot concerns the rivalry
between the club’s new rhythm and blues singer Mary Jane (Donna Raye) and its temperamental
established headliner, fire-eating showgirl Titania (Georgette Dante), which
climaxes in a rolling-on-the-floor, hair-pulling catfight in the strippers’
dressing room. Ambitious but naĂŻve chanteuse Mary Jane soon finds herself
sucked into Nemo’s corrupt web. Or, as another character brutally concludes, she’s
“some idiot dame trying to break into this crazy rat race they call show
business.” Not that “corrupting” Mary Jane is terribly difficult. In a #MeToo
moment, Nemo seduces her by waving a fat wad of dollar bills in her face and sneering,
“All good little girls are bad once in a while …” and she instantly succumbs. Interestingly,
pallid Donna Raye as Mary Jane couldn’t be more “white bread” – and yet when she
sings, she unexpectedly busts-out a totally incongruous black soul diva voice.
And quite an eccentric one at that, in the pinched nasal Little Esther / Lula
Reed-style. Is that actually Raye’s voice, or is she miming to a vocal by an uncredited
African American bold soul sister? I guess we’ll never know.
/ Donna Raye as Mary Jane. Hairstyle courtesy of Marlo Thomas in That Girl /
/ Blue-eyed soul: Mary Jane belts it out /
/ "Isn't it beautiful?" Bunny escorts Mary Ann into Nemo's private quarters /
/ Alone in Nemo's swingin' bachelor pad apartment, Mary Jane inexplicably strips-down to black lingerie and luxuriates on his stuffed polar bear rug /
To complicate matters, tough and idealistic crusading local police inspector Haddaway (Ronald Drake) is snooping around Nemo’s Club, investigating
Nemo’s connections to organized crime. Haddaway also takes a protective and romantic interest in Mary Jane, but the film seems to lose interest in this plot point towards the end.
/ It's got to be said - Haddaway is one suave fuck! It never occurred to me that matching a blue shirt and tie with a brown sharkskin suit would be such a good look! And that hat! /
The other notable male eye candy to mention in Monster is Country
& Western musician Gordon Terry as the Nemo Club’s perpetually horny emcee
(also called Gordon). Terry is one fine, strapping specimen with a husky “farm boy”
almost Lil' Abner-like physique (he's built like a brick shithouse!) and sports a magnificent greased-back quiff. Let’s contemplate his beefy
beauty!
/ It's brave for such a big guy to opt for white jeans /
/ This is Gordon's definitive sexy look: a red windbreaker, no shirt underneath, zipped-low for maximum chest exposure /
/ Then there's this powder blue formal Western-style suit worthy of the great Nudie. This is the moment when Gordon introduces a burlesque act with, "She'll twitch it and twatch it and let you watch it!" Filthy! /
All due regards to LaBeef as the monster,
but he’s arguably upstaged by sullen young bad girl Georgette Dante - in her
sole film credit - as the vicious tassel-twirling Titania. With her hostile
Dawn Davenport energy, snarling delivery and striking appearance (drag queen
eyebrows, spectacular beehive hairdo), Dante suggests baby Divine-meets-Tura
Satana in Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (In fact, Dante’s hairstyle and eyebrows
here even anticipate Divine as Babs Johnson in Pink Flamingos). And her
semi-naked burlesque routine is fierce! (In real life, Dante bitterly resented
being referred to as a “stripper”, and she’s right: her number is more
accurately an athletic carnival “strong woman” act). Dante makes an explosive impression
in The Monster and The Stripper. Ideally her performance would have made her a b-movie
goddess. As an awe-struck observer comments watching Titania rehearse: “Ain’t she
somethin’?” I highly recommend you read about the wild, wild life and times of tough cookie Georgette Dante here.
/ Liquid eyeliner! /
/ I don't know about you, but I want to get a better look at that painting! /
Klaxon! Urgent update! Eagle-eyed Ken Anderson of the essential Dreams Are What Le Cinema is Forblog just alerted me that the subject of this painting is Ms Gwen Wong - the Playmate featured in the April 1967 issue of Playboy magazine!
/ As you can see, Ms Wong seemingly inspired a lot of naive outsider folk artists! /
/ More wig action than Valley of the Dolls. This is when Bunny instructs her girls, "You pussycats have got to be out there to purr for the tomcats!" /
/ The simmering tension between Titania and Mary Jane finally explodes - into a cat fight! /
/ A disheveled Mary Jane after getting beaten-up by Titania /
/ Reaction shots of the lecherous drunks in the audience /
/ Mary Jane (looking very Neely O'Hara) singing one of her awful songs in front of the caged Swamp Monster / Warning: this film is punctuated with splashes
of gore (“My god! His guts are torn out!”) and unsimulated animal mutilation. The
scene where the Swamp Monster rips off a man’s arm and beats him to death with it
is justifiably notorious. As always with any film I recommend – watch at your
own risk!
Watch The Monster and The Stripper - if you dare! - here.
Night of Open Sex (1983)
-
*Night of Open Sex* (*La noche de los sexos abiertos*) is a 1983 Jess
Franco movie that springs a few surprises. It’s not quite what it initially
appears ...
We will endure
-
Cookie is not going to get into the election results. Nope. Not going to
do it.
Suffice it to say that I have blocked a whole bunch of people on Facebo...
Grace Jones
-
Artist: Grace Jones
LP: 7" single
Song: "I've Seen That Face Before (Liber Tango)"
[ listen ]
The incredible Grace Jones turned 76 one month ago today. ...
Forrester Millard by AMG Athletic Model Guild
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One of Bob Mizer's earliest models, and one of his favorites. This image
was photographed circa 1950 (possibly earlier). Forrester would make a
retur...
National Silent Movie Day: Manhandled (1924)
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Wednesday, Sept. 29, 2021, is National Silent Movie Day. New York City's
beloved Film Forum is celebrating with a screening of Allan Dwan's 1924
silent...
This Halloween:
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Since the grocery store opened across the street and they have one of those
safe trick-or-treating parties, I no longer feed the hordes of begging
adults, ...
Some Girls Ask For Diamonds. Others Ask for Furs.
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Mr. Kitsch texted me on the way home from work today and asked if I needed
anything at the store.
I replied "After the day that I've had? Just a big pi...
A BOGUS SPEECH BY A BOGUS PRESIDENT
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Yesterday, Obama spoke in New Orleans at the 10 year anniversary of
Katrina. I'm not quite sure why we celebrate disasters' anniversaries, but
it was a cha...
DJ. Journalist. Greaser punk. Malcontent. Jack of all trades, master of none. Like the Shangri-Las song, I'm good-bad, but not evil. I revel in trashiness