Reflections on ... Swan Song (2021)

 

Recently watched: Swan Song (2021). 

In the sleepy town of Sandusky, Ohio, geriatric former hairdresser Pat Pitsenbarger (Udo Kier) has sunk into terminal ennui. Following a stroke and the death of his long-term boyfriend, this previously flaming creature is now languishing in a dreary care home. The monotony of his existence is broken when Pat receives an unexpected request: local socialite and Sandusky’s richest woman Rita Parker Sloan (Linda Evans aka Crystal Carrington from Dynasty) has died and her will stipulates only he can style her hair for her open casket funeral. In fact, he will receive $25,000 to complete the job. But Pat is torn. He and Rita had been estranged ever since Pat’s scheming erstwhile protegee Dee Dee (Jennifer Coolidge) opened her own salon - and poached Rita as a client. 

If this premise suggests a fun black comedy – it ain’t! The tone of Swan Song is predominantly solemn and melancholy. And writer / director Todd Stephens makes frequent misjudgments, relying on all the standard "sensitive" American indie film conventions (like employing what looks like a muted vintage-style Instagram filter over everything). 

Swan Song may be underwhelming and inconsequential, but it’s undeniably a great showcase for 77-year-old German actor Udo Kier. In his long distinguished international career Kier has collaborated with cinematic heavyweights like R W Fassbinder, Paul Morrissey (Flesh for Frankenstein, Blood for Dracula), Dario Argento (Suspiria), Werner Herzog, Lars Von Trier and Gus Van Sant (plus Madonna’s “Deeper and Deeper” video!). It’s glorious to see late-period Kier imbue this meaty lead role with battered dignity and eloquent suffering. And he visibly loves playing the flamboyant, unrepentantly “nellie” Pat. 

Linda Evans is perfectly adequate in what’s essentially a fleeting guest star appearance. But afterwards I thought it would have been great to see a real actress like present-day Ann-Margret playing Rita. Or - gasp! - Faye Dunaway. Still, Evans’ presence provides one fun in-joke when Pat and Rita’s gay grandson leaf through old snapshots - including one of Rita with one of her three husbands. And it's Evans with John Forsyth! The soundtrack is old-school gay as fuck: Shirley Bassey, Judy Garland - and a triumphant use of Melissa Manchester's "Don't Cry Out Loud!" What irritated me: Pat chain-smokes campy cigarillos (the brand is Mores) indoors throughout and no one ever says, "You can't smoke in here!"