Fangs of the Living Dead (1969). Also known
as: Malenka and Malenka, The Vampire’s Niece. I’m using this period of
enforced social isolation to explore the weirder corners of YouTube for long
forgotten and obscure movies. (My boyfriend Pal is accompanying me only semi-willingly).
/ Anita Ekberg in the fifties /
In the fifties, statuesque Swedish sex goddess Anita Ekberg (1931 - 2015) reigned alongside peers Mamie Van Doren, Jayne Mansfield and Diana Dors as one of atomic-era Hollywood’s preeminent glamour queens. By the early sixties, Ekberg was triumphing in Europe, splashing in the Trevi fountain beside Marcello Mastroianni in Federico Fellini’s visionary masterpiece La Dolce Vita (1960). Something clearly went seriously awry with her career trajectory, though, because by the close of the decade Ekberg was reduced to starring in this entertainingly schlocky low-budget Spanish-Italian vampire film. (Still to come: Killer Nun in 1979!).
Fangs opens in bustling cosmopolitan Rome, where voluptuous protagonist Silvia Morel (Ekberg) seemingly has it all. She’s a successful fashion model (“you’re the most beautiful model in Italy!”) and engaged to dashing surgeon Dr Piero Luciani. On top of that, Silvia’s just received some exciting news (“I want to tell you about something fantastic that’s happened to me! It’s incredible!”). Not only has she inherited a title (you may address her as “countess” now! Countess Walbrooke to be precise!) – she’s also inherited a crumbling ruined Gothic castle straight out of a Hammer horror movie, too! Wasting no time, Silvia flies to the remote unspecified mitteleuropean countryside to view the castle and meet her sinister and effete uncle, Count Walbrooke. Is the Count a 100-year old vampire? Consider the evidence stacked against him: his wardrobe of polo necks and foppish velvet suits! His heavy-handed penchant for eyebrow pencil – and that satanic goatee! Furthermore, a framed portrait of Silvia’s grandmother Malenka is displayed in the castle – and she looks exactly like her! (Albeit with dark hair). “You’re the image of her!” Count Walbrooke helpfully clarifies just in case we missed the point. “The same beauty, born of mystery!” We glimpse Malenka in flashbacks (Ekberg sporting a brunette wig). Apparently “Malenka was a brilliant biochemist!” who “studied ancient Arabic alchemists and philosophers and compiled anthologies of black magic and sorcery … searching for the secret of immortality!” (cut to Ekberg very unconvincingly reading manuscripts by candlelight next to a bubbling test tube). Alas, the superstitious torch-wielding villagers assume Malenka is a witch and burn her alive at the stake in the village square! As Count Walbrooke tells it, the family’s bloodline has been cursed ever since and Silvia comes from generations of vampires. “My dear uncle – I’m afraid you need a long rest!” the skeptical Silvia guffaws. “Find some peaceful place – the beach, the country! Anywhere! Somewhere far from this monstrous place!” But even when Silvia pleads to leave and protests “I’m allergic to castles!”, the Count refuses to let her go and vows to initiate her into a life of vampirism …
/ Anita Ekberg in the fifties /
In the fifties, statuesque Swedish sex goddess Anita Ekberg (1931 - 2015) reigned alongside peers Mamie Van Doren, Jayne Mansfield and Diana Dors as one of atomic-era Hollywood’s preeminent glamour queens. By the early sixties, Ekberg was triumphing in Europe, splashing in the Trevi fountain beside Marcello Mastroianni in Federico Fellini’s visionary masterpiece La Dolce Vita (1960). Something clearly went seriously awry with her career trajectory, though, because by the close of the decade Ekberg was reduced to starring in this entertainingly schlocky low-budget Spanish-Italian vampire film. (Still to come: Killer Nun in 1979!).
Fangs opens in bustling cosmopolitan Rome, where voluptuous protagonist Silvia Morel (Ekberg) seemingly has it all. She’s a successful fashion model (“you’re the most beautiful model in Italy!”) and engaged to dashing surgeon Dr Piero Luciani. On top of that, Silvia’s just received some exciting news (“I want to tell you about something fantastic that’s happened to me! It’s incredible!”). Not only has she inherited a title (you may address her as “countess” now! Countess Walbrooke to be precise!) – she’s also inherited a crumbling ruined Gothic castle straight out of a Hammer horror movie, too! Wasting no time, Silvia flies to the remote unspecified mitteleuropean countryside to view the castle and meet her sinister and effete uncle, Count Walbrooke. Is the Count a 100-year old vampire? Consider the evidence stacked against him: his wardrobe of polo necks and foppish velvet suits! His heavy-handed penchant for eyebrow pencil – and that satanic goatee! Furthermore, a framed portrait of Silvia’s grandmother Malenka is displayed in the castle – and she looks exactly like her! (Albeit with dark hair). “You’re the image of her!” Count Walbrooke helpfully clarifies just in case we missed the point. “The same beauty, born of mystery!” We glimpse Malenka in flashbacks (Ekberg sporting a brunette wig). Apparently “Malenka was a brilliant biochemist!” who “studied ancient Arabic alchemists and philosophers and compiled anthologies of black magic and sorcery … searching for the secret of immortality!” (cut to Ekberg very unconvincingly reading manuscripts by candlelight next to a bubbling test tube). Alas, the superstitious torch-wielding villagers assume Malenka is a witch and burn her alive at the stake in the village square! As Count Walbrooke tells it, the family’s bloodline has been cursed ever since and Silvia comes from generations of vampires. “My dear uncle – I’m afraid you need a long rest!” the skeptical Silvia guffaws. “Find some peaceful place – the beach, the country! Anywhere! Somewhere far from this monstrous place!” But even when Silvia pleads to leave and protests “I’m allergic to castles!”, the Count refuses to let her go and vows to initiate her into a life of vampirism …
While there’s zero blood or nudity on view, to its credit Fangs is tinged with fun aspects like voyeurism, sadism, girl-on-girl catfights and lesbianism. (The castle is haunted by a candelabra-carrying lesbian vampire priestess called Blinka who attempts to seduce Silvia and proclaims things like, “The coldness of the grave is in my blood!”). Director Amando de Ossorio makes effective use of the atmospheric candle-lit haunted mansion set, complete with a medieval dungeon in the basement and a crypt filled with the ancestral tombs. The performance by leading lady Ekberg is spectacularly, compellingly awful. Watch for “Miss Ekberg’s Clothes by Marbel Jr”, particularly the wild orange pantsuit accessorized with a matching swirling cape. (For some reason, Ekberg is also partial to wearing her hair styled in a mop of Shirley Temple-style little girl ringlets). Typical of European co-productions, everyone is obviously dubbed which adds to the sense of artificiality. As Silvia’s fiancé Piero, actor Gianni Medici made minimal impression on me until near the end when the Count has him chained-up shirtless in the dungeon and we get to see his impressive bronzed torso, embellished with what appears to be a sheen of baby oil. For comedic relief, Piero’s wacky girl-crazy best friend Max tags along (he is gratingly unfunny). Campiest moment: when Silvia stops for a drink at the local inn en route to the castle for the first time and casually mentions she is the new Contessa – and the beer-drinking peasants all freeze in horror! Best line of dialogue: when the Count tries to force Silvia to visit the scary family crypt, she wails, “Can’t we do this another day? I’m not the curious type!” And is it just my imagination, or when Ekberg pouts and pensively narrows her eyes in close-ups, doesn’t she alarmingly resemble surgically enhanced American First Lady Melania Trump?
Watch Fangs of
the Living Dead - if you dare! - here:
Further reading:
In August 2018 I spoke my brains to To Do List magazine about the wild, wild world of Lobotomy Room, the monthly cinema club – and my lonely one-man mission to return a bit of raunch, sleaze and “adult situations” to London’s nightlife! Read it - if you must - here.
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