The Glory Gala featuring Liza with a Z: 7 July 2017

As promised on the Facebook event page: 

THE GLORY GALA Featuring Liza with a Z

The Glory is excited to announce its first ever ‘GLORY GALA’ in the beautifully restored Art Deco ballroom of Stoke Newington Town Hall on Friday 7th July

Following on from the amazing success of LIPSYNC1000, Jonny Woo will stage a re-enactment of the award-winning 1972 TV special Liza with a Z. Featuring 25 of the LIPSYNC1000 stars and some extra special guests, hosted by The Glory’s own John Sizzle, Liza Minnelli is getting a 21st Century makeover!

Alongside the ‘Liza’ centrepiece, The Glory Gala brings our favourite DJs and a selection of the new Drag King Stars from this year’s season of MAN UP! who will be showcased in the 'Glory Gentlemen’s Club"

The Glory Gala heralds our first celebration of Pride in London with a showcase of everything you love about The Glory. Spectacular, riotous, joyous cross-dressed party carnage. And with over 25 Liza Minnellis on show, what isn’t there to love?

/ Freida Slaves: one of the many facsimiles of Liza Minnelli! /

The Glory’s Pride 2017 Gala at Stoke Newington Town Hall on 7 July was a  truly glorious freaking tour de force! Or as my boyfriend Pal put it: amazing with a Z!

The evening incorporated a painstaking and imaginative recreation of Liza Minnelli’s 1972 TV special Liza with a Z musical number-by-musical number live onstage. Think of it as a night of 1001 Lizas: the huge cast (including Jonny Woo, Jayde Adams and La JohnJoseph) incorporated a disparate crew of multiple Minnellis of all genders and ethnicities, many of whom sporting luxuriant facial hair. (All of the surrounding wig emporiums from Dalston to Peckham must have sold out of short, perky Liza Minnelli-style pixie Dynel wigs).

/ Friend of Dorothy: effervescent emcee John Sizzle channeling Liza. Or is that mama Judy? /

While I treasure Minnelli as a kitsch figure of fun (she personifies pill-popping Valley of the Dolls-style smiling-through-your-tears glitzy old-school show biz corniness), I also mainly know her for her dysfunctional hot mess years: terrible films like Rent-a-Cop (1988) and Stepping Out (1991), her highly publicised stints in rehab, her mortifying short-lived marriage to the repellent David Gest and that befuddled, heavily-medicated episode where she hawked her own line of clothes on the Home Shopping Network. This night was a good reminder that in her seventies prime (around the time of Cabaret (1972) and when she was rubbing shoulders with the Warhol crowd at Studio 54 clad in head-to-toe Halston), Minnelli was a vivid, original and credible performer. (It’s got to be said, though: Pal and I watched Minnelli’s 1972 TV special in bed on the iPad the night after. In some cases, The Glory’s performers improved on the original!).  

/ Above: Liza Minnelli Polaroid by Andy Warhol. Let's remember her this way / 

/ Above: Jonny Woo and co recreating the "Ring Them Bells" musical number /

And – judging by the enthusiastic and diverse crowd’s hunger for jazz hands, sequins and tremulous emoting - Minnelli’s enduring status as a cherished gay icon is clearly unassailable. Anyway, everyone was great. Or “terrific” as Minnelli herself would say. Pal (who has a dance background) is ultra-critical of other dancers and even he said he was dazzled by how they’d nailed the slinkily sinuous Bob Fosse choreography.

Much as I loved Freida Slave’s interpretation of “Bye Bye Blackbird” (above) my highlight was the finale (which most definitely had nothing to do with the original Liza with a Z!): an anguished John Sizzle in a ratty fright wig, hospital gown and wheelchair seemingly in throes of a nervous breakdown and en route to rehab, tormented by dancers in David Gest wigs to a soundtrack of Liza belting out the 1989 Pet Shop Boys-produced synth-pop version of “Losing My Mind.” 

/ Liza Minnelli in hell: John Sizzle tormented by the David Gest dancers. (These two pics swiped from Hackney Pride 365 Facebook page. Photos by Georgi Banks-Davies) /

I didn’t catch his name, but I also loved the queen with the tinsel wig and glitter-dusted mustache who performed a berserk lip-synch to the title song “Liza with a Z” in which Minnelli works herself up into an increasingly foaming-at-the-mouth frenzy explaining how to spell and pronounce her name. (When I was posting photos on my phone onto Facebook, auto-correct kept changing “Liza” to “Lisa” and I thought, “That’s exactly what Liza was protesting about!”). I don’t have any footage of him, but here is the original. 

The aftermath: afterwards, drunk, we did precisely what Liza Minnelli herself would have done - rampaged through the streets of Stoke Newington on the hunt for fried chicken.

/ Above: Chris, Pal and I /

/ Louise, Chris and Pal /

/ Louise, Chris and Pal /

/ Me, Louise and Chris /

/ Chris and I, recreating that old Mickey Hargitay / Jayne Mansfield party trick /

/ I think I'll just leave this historic queer encounter here: John Waters and Liza Minnelli /




/ In closing: Liza Minnelli jumping (belatedly) on the disco bandwagon and absolutely slaughtering Donna Summer's "Bad Girls" in 1980 /

Baby Lame's Shit Show at The Glory on 9 September 2016

I was recently honoured to guest DJ at Baby Lame's first anniversary Shit Show at The Glory in Haggerston. As I posted on Facebook:

Punky alt-cabaret doesn’t get more twisted than Baby Lame's Shit Show! On 9 September sewer-mouthed hog princess extraordinaire Baby Lame celebrates the first anniversary of her residency at The Glory with this birthday extravaganza! Won’t you come and join us? It promises to be a rancid cavalcade of perversion! There won’t be another Lobotomy Room club night at Fontaine’s now until Friday 30 September, so in the meantime come and catch me DJ’ing in The Glory’s basement “pit” / sex dungeon afterwards! I’ll be playing all your sentimental classicks! Autumn 2016 just suddenly got a lot more putrid!

In case you’re unfamiliar with the oeuvre of drag terrorist Baby Lame (darling, where have you been?), when I profiled her for Beige website in 2015 I described Baby’s act as “twisted black comedic punk-drag-horror performance art a-go go, marinated in the bad taste midnight movie sensibility of John Waters.” If anything, since then with her raunchy monthly Shit Show club night at The Glory (the reigning epicentre of gay Bohemia in London’s East End), Baby Lame has gotten even filthier.  And for this special first anniversary celebration, Baby assembled a glittering selection of perverted and exhibitionistic special guests. Pal and I arrived in time to see the big finale featuring the notorious Mouse. If you’ve never seen Mouse in action before (I’ve only ever seen her perform once before at The Amy Grimehouse’s John Waters Filth Fest in March 2014 but it’s scorched on my retinas), let’s just say her act involves total stark nudity, dog food, a birthday cake, an enema kit and that the front row needs to protect themselves by holding up a clear plastic tarpaulin. The spirit of Leigh Bowery and The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black lived in the basement of The Glory!

/ Tara and I at The Shit Show /

This is only the second time I’ve DJ’d at The Glory. The first time was at their Easter Sunday 2016 bank holiday Barn Dance. That time went down a storm, but I have to admit I was apprehensive wondering if a packed Friday night crowd at The Glory would respond favourably to what I was laying down. I am quite niche after all. People do dance to my music but it certainly doesn’t qualify as most peoples’ idea of “dance music.” What if I had a steady stream of people requesting Britney or Beyonce? Or worse – complaining to the management! I needn’t have worried: at various times I had a virtual mosh pit slamming by the DJ booth! People at gay venues are definitely hungry for more aggressive, punkier and confrontational music when they hear it – they maybe just don’t know it ‘til they encounter it. I pretty much played my standard abrasive Lobotomy Room set encompassing punk, rockabilly, surf, rhythm and blues and tittyshakers with maybe a campier emphasis on diva worship for The Glory. It’s just that my pantheon of queer icon divas includes the likes of Nina Hagen, Jayne Mansfield, Ann-Margret, Lydia Lunch, Edith Massey and Mrs Miller! (This may have been the only time anyone ever sequenced hi-NRG disco-era Eartha Kitt next to Fat White Family, or followed Tina Turner with The Germs).  Anyway, the night was a triumph for Baby Lame and I was glad to be a part of it. Long may her Shit Show reign!

/ The Shit Show in action at The Glory on 9 September 2016. Pic swiped from Facebook! /

Here's what I played:

Do You Remember Rock'n'Roll Radio? The Ramonetures
Universal Radio - Nina Hagen
Wipe-Out - The Surfaris
Blitzkreig Bop - The Ramonetures
I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones
Hangin' On the Telephone - Blondie
Road Runner - The Fabulous Wailers
I Walk Like Jayne Mansfield - The 5,6,7,8s
That Makes It - Jayne Mansfield
Year One - X
Peter Gunn Locomotion - The Delmonas
Peter Gunn Twist - The Jesters
Gunnin' for Peter - The Fabulous Wailers
Be Bop A Lula - Alan Vega
Viens danser le twist - Johnny Hallyday
Twistin' the Night Away - Divine
Cha Cha Heels - Eartha Kitt
Touch the Leather - Fat White Family
Harley Davidson - Brigitte Bardot
Batman theme - Link Wray and His Wraymen
Shortnin' Bread - The Readymen
Muleskinner Blues - The Fendermen
Human Fly - The Cramps
Little Girl - John and Jackie
Viva Las Vegas - Nina Hagen
C'mon Everybody - Sid Vicious
Breathless - X
Funnel of Love - Wanda Jackson
Rock Around the Clock - The Sex Pistols
Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen
Juke Box Babe - Alan Vega
Atomic Bongos - Lydia Lunch
Margaya - The Fender Four
Dance with Me Henry - Ann-Margret
Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad - Tammy Wynette
Lucille - Masaaki Hirao
Gostaria de saber (River Deep, Mountain High) - Wanderlea
Under My Thumb - Tina Turner
Forming - The Germs
Surf Rat - The Rumblers
Hanky Panky - Rita Chao and The Quests
Three Cool Chicks - The 5,6,7,8s
Jailhouse Rock - Masaaki Hirao
You Sure Know How to Hurt Someone - Ann-Margret
Johnny Are You Queer? Josie Cotton
Fuck Off - Wayne County and The Electric Chairs
Big Girls Don't Cry - Edith Massey
I'm a Woman - Peggy Lee
Suey - Jayne Mansfield
Pass the Hatchet - Roger and The Gypsies
Vampira - The Misfits
Nausea - X
Intoxica - The Centurions
Aphrodisiac - Bow Wow Wow
Bossa Nova Baby - Elvis Presley
Shout - Johnny Hallyday
Contact - Brigitte Bardot
These Boots Are Made for Walkin' - Mrs Miller
Meu Bem Lollipop - Wanderlea
Fever - Nancy Sit
Somethin' Else - Sid Vicious
The Girl Can't Help It - Little Richard
Sweetie Pie - Eddie Cochran
The Swag - Link Wray
Jim Dandy - Sara Lee and The Spades
Whistle Bait - Larry Collins
Boss - The Rumblers
I Wish I Was a Princess - Little Peggy March
My Way - Sid Vicious

In related outsider art drag news: I touched visiting American skank goddess Christeene’s dick at The Soho Theatre on Saturday 17 September! It was a profound and religious moment! I was up-front with my friend Tara and her mother Paula. During one song early in her set Christeene made scary direct eye contact with me with those glowing ice-blue Children of the Damned contact lenses, reached out to me, I grabbed her hand – and she guided my hand straight to her crotch and squeezed. The whole night (the culmination of Christeene’s glorious two-week residency at The Soho Theatre) was pretty damn spectacular – grubby, sleazy, freaky and punky. It opened with him jumping up and dangling from a ceiling pipe above the stage doing flawless pole dancer moves and ended with the sentimental favourite “African Mayonnaise”, punctuated with deep stripper squats, crotch-thrusting dance routines, glimpses of genitalia, multiple costume changes, copious spitting and onstage rimming. And as an added bonus, doyenne of punk fashion Dame Vivienne Westwood was in attendance! (Westwood looked great: very chic with platinum blonde hair, approachable and friendly; Tara and Paula had their photo taken with her). Afterwards we were all standing around outside and Christeene was circulating through the crowd talking to people. I managed to tell him: I’m old enough to have seen artists like Lux Interior of The Cramps, Iggy Pop, Grace Jones and Jayne County perform multiple times and you are carrying on in their tradition. He replied, “Everyone you just mentioned is like family to me” - and kissed me on the lips. In fact Tara, her mother and I all got kisses on the lips from Christeene. Swoon!

/ Sadly, none of the photos taken Saturday night turned out terribly well. This shot of the radiant Christeene and I was snapped in summer 2014 the legendary night he and David Hoyle performed together at Vogue Fabrics in Dalston.  Please don’t judge me for the unsightly sweat patches on my t-shirt: it was packed in that basement and hotter than hell! Condensation was dripping from the ceiling! /

And finally: my next Lobotomy Room club night is coming up soon!

Wilder than you can imagine! Explicit beyond belief! Revel in sleaze, voodoo and rock’n’roll - when incredibly strange dance party Lobotomy Room returns to the Polynesian-style basement Bamboo Lounge of Dalston’s premiere Art Deco vice den Fontaine’s! Friday 30 September! With sensational special offer cocktails on the night!

Lobotomy Room! Where sin lives! A punkabilly booze party! Sensual and depraved! A spectacle of decadence! Bad Music for Bad People! A Mondo Trasho evening of Beat, Beat Beatsville Beatnik Rock’n’Roll! Rockabilly Psychosis! Wailing Rhythm and Blues! Twisted Tittyshakers! Punk! White Trash Rockers! Kitsch! Exotica! Curiosities and other Weird Shit! Think John Waters soundtracks, or Songs the Cramps Taught Us, hosted by Graham Russell (of Dr Sketchy and Cockabilly notoriety). Expect desperate stabs from the jukebox jungle! Savage rhythms to make you writhe and rock! Now with vintage erotica projected on the wall for your adult viewing pleasure! Come for the £6 cocktails - stay for the putrid music and dirty movies!

Admission: gratuit - that’s French for FREE!

Lobotomy Room: Faster. Further. Filthier.

It’s sleazy. It’s grubby. It’s trashy - you’ll love it!

A tawdry good time guaranteed!

Event page

Easter Sunday Barn Dance at The Glory DJ Set List 27 March 2016

/ Giddy-Up, Cowboy: the gorgeous Wilde brothers Rory (top) and Gunner (bottom - and what a bottom!) photographed by Bruce of Los Angeles in the sixties /

I was a late addition to The Glory’s annual Easter Sunday Barn Dance on 27 March.  A day of beers, steers and queers – in gritty urban Haggerston! Think bales of hay on the floor, posters of mondo cleavaged patron saint Dolly Parton Blu-tacked everywhere and a crowd of yee-hawing gingham and denim-clad yokels (well, as interpreted by hip East London homosexualists).

/ I dug-out my old Hillbilly Hop t-shirt for the occasion. This t-shirt is so old at this point it must qualify as borderline vintage /

I’ve always wanted to play at one of these barn dances. After pleading, pouting, cajoling and stamping my foot, I finally managed to persuade John Sizzle that as someone who actually grew up on a pig farm in rural Quebec I’d be the closest thing to a hillbilly there - and won myself a sweet -DJ’ing guest spot from 7 pm. This night also represented my long-awaited Glory debut.

Anyway, at first I DJ’d between the cabaret acts. They included a drag queen (Miss Craig) lip-synching to a live recording of Cher singing “Walkin’ in Memphis” and “Just Like Jessie James” followed by a drag king Jesus (“Shesus”) complete with crown of thorns and luxuriant beard (who wailed Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball”) and finally Concertina Turner. The self-described "bearded hairy shit-kicker" in Tina Turner drag (with signature punk-bouffant wig and micro-mini skirt) accompanied himself on accordion while singing heartfelt versions of “Private Dancer”, “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” and “Simply the Best” – probably with more conviction than Turner herself has managed in decades. In other words – it felt like my spiritual home.

/ Below: All photos by Pal /

/ Shesus and Concertina Turner /



/ Shesus died for somebody's sins but not mine ... /



/ "She's got legs / She knows how to use them ..." Concertina Turner /



/ Pal and I /

Once the performers finished, I DJ’d straight through until the end.  Musically I aimed to deliver a hayride to hell. As a rural Canadian child of the seventies, kitsch old-school honky tonk Country & Western is embedded in my DNA. Early on I focused on the pantheon of hair hoppin' divas of the genre: think Bobbie Gentry, Wanda Jackson, Tammy Wynette’s “Your Good Girl’s Gonna Go Bad”, “Fist City” by Loretta Lynn.  (I was kicking myself that I forgot to bring the CD with Loretta’s “The Pill” – what an omission!). Obviously Nancy Sinatra is a goddess to me.  From her 1967 album Country My Way – which I’d argue is her most consistent masterpiece - I played “Get While the Gettin’ is Good” and “Jackson”. (All due regards to Johnny Cash and June Carter’s original, but the poppier, stomping Nancy and Lee Hazlewood country exotica version is definitive).  

 As the night progressed things got punkier, messier and more sordid (I’d been drinking all afternoon by this point) and I resorted to my more usual assortment of putrid vintage sleaze.  To their eternal credit, the up-for-it and lively Glory crowd danced to whatever I flung at them. One young guy approached and asked if I could play Jessica Simpson’s cover of “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’.” Needless to say I didn’t have it (I didn’t even have Nancy Sinatra’s on me) – so I played Mrs Mill’s version. And people actually danced to it! It was especially gratifying to see a full dance floor thrashing and flailing to The Knitters (Los Angeles punk band X’s occasional hillbilly side project), Ann-Margret, Nina Hagen and Divine. And once again, leather-clad, gap-toothed punk granny Edith Massey proved to be a surprising crowd-pleaser.

/ Your reward for reading this far: who doesn't love vintage homoerotic cowboy imagery? The delectable Rory Wilde photographed by Bruce of Los Angeles /

Gotta Lotta Rhythm in My Soul - Patsy Cline
Willie Joe - The Mystery Trio
Get While the Gettin's Good - Nancy Sinatra
Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad - Tammy Wynette
Oh Lonesome Me - Johnny Cash
Fist City - Loretta Lynn
Mississippi Delta - Bobbie Gentry
You Done Messed Around and Made a Mean Woman Mad - Julia Bates
Poor Little Critter on the Road - The Knitters
Seven Lonely Days - Bonnie Lou
Oh Lonesome Me - Ann-Margret
Jackson - Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood
Fools Rush In - Ricky Nelson
Ring of Fire - The Earls of Suave
Woodpecker Rock - Nat Couty and The Braves
Ballad of Thunder Road - Robert Mitchum
I Let the Stars Get in My Eyes - Goldie Hill
These Boots Are Made for Walkin' - Mrs Mills
Walk Like a Man - Divine
Big Girls Don't Cry - Edith Massey
Viva Las Vegas - Nina Hagen
Johnny Are You Queer? Josie Cotton
Funnel of Love - Wanda Jackson
Breathless - X
Rock Around the Clock - The Sex Pistols
Love Me - The Phantom
Sweetie Pie - Eddie Cochran
I Walk Like Jayne Mansfield - The 5,6,7,8s
That Makes It - Jayne Mansfield
Lucille - Masaaki Hirao
The Girl Can't Help It - Little Richard
Hanky Panky - Rita Chao and The Quests
Gostaria de Saber (River Deep, Mountain High) - Wanderlea
Under My Thumb - Tina Turner
Twistin' the Night Away - Divine
Viens danser le twist - Johnny Hallyday
Peter Gunn Twist - The Jesters
Peter Gunn Locomotion - The Delmonas
Ultra Twist - The Cramps
Bomb the Twist - The 5,6,7,8s
C'mon Everybody - Sid Vicious
My Way - Nina Hagen

Upcoming stuff to scrawl in your social calendar (ideally in blood). I’m the hardest-working woman in show biz in April!

Wednesday 13 April 2016: Drag a comb through your quiff, swallow a fistful of bop pills and rock around the cock – when COCKABILLY returns to the louche surroundings of Bloc Bar in Camden! And every second Wednesday night of the month thereafter!

Leather boys, gay greasers, cry-babies, prison wives and juvenile delinquents of all ages are welcome at Cockabilly - London’s only regular queer rockabilly night! With DJ Mal Nicholson and I (Graham Russell) spinning all your favourite rancid vintage sleaze classicks! Think rockabilly, rhythm and blues, surf, punk and tittyshakers! Daring and virile! Chains, whips, knives and leather belts all swished around together in bone-jarring rock and roll! Way-out sex and sin for those who like it that way!

The Bloc Bar: 18 Kentish Town Road London NW1

8-midnight

FREE

/ Throw on a blonde wig! Borrow a chihuahua! Put a wiggle in that walk! Coo and squeal like a sex kitten-gone-berserk! /

Wednesday 27 April 2016: As host of the regular monthly Mondo Trasho punkabilly club night Lobotomy Room, I – Graham Russell - will occasionally crash Fontaine’s free weekly film night and screen a rancid title of my choice, with an emphasis on the cult, the queer and the camp! The Lobotomy Room Goes to the Movies selection this month is – The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield!

Rated “X” upon its release in 1968, the ultra-trashy faux documentary chronicles the kinky globe-trotting misadventures of Hollywood sex kitten-gone-berserk Jayne Mansfield.   Watch agog as kitsch icon Mansfield - the punk Marilyn Monroe, revered by John Waters and Divine (and “the face” of Lobotomy Room) -   visits the hedonistic “sin spots” of the world, encompassing topless go-go clubs, gay bars, drag queen beauty contests and nudist colonies, usually accompanied by her pet Chihuahua!

The low-budget Wild, Wild World was in production 1964 - 1968. Bear in mind Mansfield died in 1967. Part of the fun is spotting how the producers cobbled things together after Mansfield’s death in order to complete the film. Watch for the (many) shots of a body double filmed from behind wearing Mansfield’s disheveled blonde wig.  And the sound-alike who delivered the voice-over narration (nailing Jayne’s breathless babydoll coo) deserved an Oscar!

In an eerie unplanned coincidence, April marks Mansfield’s birthday (she was born 19 April 1933). Let’s make the night a celebration of all things Jayne! Come dragged-up as Jayne Mansfield and / or accompanied by a Chihuahua – get a free cocktail.

As usual: arrive circa 8 pm to order your drinks and grab the best seats. The film starts at 8:30 pm prompt!

Events page

Friday 29 April 2016: Revel in sleaze, voodoo and rock’n’roll - when incredibly strange dance party Lobotomy Room returns to the Polynesian-style basement Bamboo Lounge of Dalston’s premiere Art Deco vice den Fontaine’s! Friday 29 April! With sensational special offer cocktails on the night!

Lobotomy Room! Where sin lives! A punkabilly booze party! A spectacle of decadence! Bad Music for Bad People! A Mondo Trasho evening of Beat, Beat Beatsville Beatnik Rock’n’Roll! Rockabilly Psychosis! Wailing Rhythm and Blues! Twisted Tittyshakers! Punk! White Trash Rockers! Kitsch! Exotica! Curiosities and other Weird Shit! Think John Waters soundtracks, or Songs the Cramps Taught Us, hosted by Graham Russell (of Dr Sketchy and Cockabilly notoriety). Expect desperate stabs from the jukebox jungle! Savage rhythms to make you writhe and rock! Now with vintage erotica projected on the wall for your adult viewing pleasure! Come for the cocktails - stay for the putrid music and dirty movies!

Admission: gratuit - that’s French for FREE!

Lobotomy Room: Faster. Further. Filthier.

It’s sleazy. It’s grubby. It’s trashy - you’ll love it!

A tawdry good time guaranteed!

Events page

John Waters Filth Fest DJ Set List 29 March 2014

/ The great Liz Renay as Muffy St Jacques in Desperate Living (1977) /

Amy Grimehouse Presents: John Waters Filth Fest

Could you be the filthiest person alive? Then this is your church: a 12-hour mass in praise of the Pope of Trash. Brought to you by anarchic promoters Amy Grimehouse, it promises all the camp hysteria and debauchery you'll find in Waters's celebrated movies – obscenity and health and safety laws permitting. As well as a marathon Waters screening session (including an Odorama version of Polyester), expect cabaret and live music performances, a Hairspray-like ball (featuring Corny Collins dance lessons), bizarre competitions, trampolining, an "eat your makeup" stall and a "tea bagging booth" (we're not sure either). Dressing up is compulsory, but be warned: not even Divine could stay looking like Divine for 12 hours. 

From The Guardian 

/ Official Filth Fest poster /

/ The cast of Pink Flamingos (1972) /

My slavish reverence for the oeuvre of cinema’s sleaze John Waters is pretty well-documented. (Interviewing him in 2010 was the pinnacle of my journalism career. My semi-regular club night Lobotomy Room is virtually a tribute to Waters). So as well as being honoured to be asked in the first place, DJ’ing at the triumphant mondo trasho John Waters Filth Fest (organised by immersive cult cinema / arts club organisers Amy Grimehouse) fit me like a tight (wet) t-shirt.

/ Talented photographer Elissa Cray was in attendance taking portraits of the clubbers all night. She took this glamour shot of me early on. (The Jayne Mansfield cheesecake pose was her idea) /

/ Divine make-over at the John Waters Filth Fest on 29 March 2014 /

/ The Girl Can't Help It: Divine as Babs Johnson in Pink Flamingos (1972) / 

Described as a celebration of all things John Waters, the Filth Fest inevitably included screenings of beloved Waters trash masturpieces (sic) (including Crybaby, Desperate Living, Multiple Maniacs, Serial Mom and Polyester, complete with scratch’n’sniff Odorama cards). But it also incorporated live music (the band Oh! Gunquit), performance art, vibrator racing, an “eat your make-up” stall, Corny Collins Show-style dance classes and the crème de la crème of London’s hippest drag queens emceeing and cavorting in various stages of undress (they truly are the progeny of Divine).  Sadly, the tea bagging booth didn't seem to happen – I would have been up for that!

/ I call this Christophina Makes a New Friend: My friend (aka "Christopher") with a slut dropping Baby Lame. Note the underwear with skid marks and used tampon decorations - an elegant touch /



/ Christophina Makes a New Friend, Part 2: He gets acquainted with Jacqui Potato /



/ Baby Lame (covered in dog food. Oh, god - I hope it's dog food) and Pal. (You can barely see it, but Pal's wearing a Pink Flamingos t-shirt he made himself) /

/ John Sizzle (in costume as Lobstora from Multiple Maniacs) and I. The first words out of his mouth were, "I'm going to rape you!" /




/ High performance art: Baby Lame and Moan Crawful. Photo by Alex Menace / 

Proceedings reached a sordid climax with the Filthiest Person Alive competition. I missed whole chunks of it because I was in the other room (the Fudge Pit, in fact) sorting out last minute audio issues with the sound engineer but I could see it through the window and it was a truly eye-popping Fellini-esque spectacle. Recall the Cavalcade of Perversions carnival tent in Waters’ 1970 film Multiple Maniacs (vomit eaters, bicycle seat lickers, “men kissing on the lips like lovers”) and you’re on the right track. I can definitely confirm copious nudity was involved. At one point I caught a vivid snatch of performance artist Mouse splashing stark naked in a children’s paddling pool, stuffing dog food into her orifices. An exhibitionistic obese guy with moobs who could suck his own nipples ultimately won. (The choice may have been controversial: the fierce Divine lookalike standing next to me shook his head in silent disapproval). I think the winner’s name was Timothy. At the end of the night, when I had packed my DJ bag and was leaving Timothy was standing outside. He approached and asked if he could come home with me. When I politely declined he asked if I could find him “a special friend.”

/ Contestants in the Filthiest Person competition. Photo by Alex Menace /



/ Contestants in the Filthiest Person competition. Photo by Alex Menace. Note woman in foreground clutching can of Tyskie. Her costume is the most loving reproduction of what Mole McHenry wears in her guise as female wrestler Wrasslin' Rita in Desperate Living (1977). I was in awe. Just look at that lovingly detailed vagina. Also visible: Moan Crawful in Leigh Bowery-esque leopard skin all-in-one /



/ Baby Lame and the winner of the Filthiest Person competition. I think his name was Timothy. As far as I could tell, his primary talent was self nipple-sucking. Photo by Alex Menace /

/ Susan Walsh as Chiclet in Female Trouble (1974) /

I DJ’d between 11:30 pm – 2:00 am (then superstar DJ John Sizzle took over). I’m officially spoiled now – I only want to DJ while scantily-clad drag queens do stripper squats and slut drops. And if only every crowd was so wild, freaky, trashy and appreciative: being surrounded by Divine lookalikes (and a few brilliant Mink Stole-as-Connie Marble-in-Pink Flamingos lookalikes) sure is inspiring. (So is swigging from cans of Tyskie). Obviously I seized this as an opportunity to wallow in deep vintage musical sleaze. I alternated tracks from John Waters’ best soundtracks (Pink Flamingos, Female Trouble – there was never an official soundtrack but I pieced it together - Cry-baby, A Dirty Shame) with songs that sound like they could be from John Waters films, incorporating punk, juvenile delinquent rockabilly, surf and greasy rhythm and blues (Waters shares my boundless love for the turbulent Ike and Tina Turner). Playing some Cramps felt pretty compulsory (interesting bit of trivia: The Cramps were approached to provide music for the Cry-baby soundtrack, but none of it was used).

/ "I'm a thief and shit kicker and - uh - I'd like to be famous." Unsurprisingly, there were multiple Divine lookalikes at the Filth Fest. This one was my favourite /



/ I only want to DJ with drag queens doing stripper squats and slut drops from now on. (That's Jacqui Potato in the fuchsia wig) /



/ Jacqui Potato doing a classic young Tina Turner / Ikettes wig toss. Note Christophina in foreground /



/ View from the DJ booth /

/ Dance floor action. By this point Jacqui Potato had stripped down to a jockstrap and was lying on the floor bicycling his legs in the air. This is the only shot I managed of the Mink Stole as Connie Marble in Pink Flamingos lookalike /

/ Punk Granny Edith Massey /

/ Pin-up shot of Edith Massey /

A few numbers by Waters leading ladies Edith Massey and Divine were also de rigueur. I love their abrasive, nasty voices which are somehow alluring and repellent. I always remember someone describing infamous novelty singer Mrs Miller’s voice as sounding like “roaches scurrying across a trash can lid.” How beautiful! What could be more punk than that? It’s a quality that both Divine and Edie share –as does Wayne / Jayne County (punk’s Venus with a penis) or Kembra Pfahler, frontwoman of New York’s Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black. (I played “Pillowcase” by the latter. The snarled chorus of “painted lips, false eyelashes, dyed hair” always makes me think of John Waters films).  “Edie Conquers Godzilla” is banging techno music overlaid with samples of Massey’s dialogue from various Waters films (“I’m in a heavenly mood today!” she squawks as Cuddles in Polyester). “Punks Get off the Grass” dates from when Massey good naturedly jumped on the punk bandwagon, donning her black leather dominatrix outfit from Female Trouble and hitting the road backed by a New Wave band.  Hog Princess Divine ultimately saved my ass: at one point I was bursting for a slash – every DJ’s nightmare. Rockabilly and punk songs rarely last more than two minutes. I stuck on Divine’s six minute rancid hi-NRG disco version of Sam Cooke’s "Twistin’ the Night Away". I could actually hear her lecherous raspy voice booming from the urinal, so I knew I had time to rush back.

/ Grab life by the boobs: John Sizzle having his tits groped by an admirer /

/ Nice rack! John Sizzle in action. How many nipples can you count? /




/ Nice brief glimpse of the raunchy goings-on at the Filth Fest /

Postscript: Last weekend I re-visited the John Waters’ mid-period trash masterpiece Polyester (1981). I have it on DVD but hadn't watched it in years. It was screened at midnight at the Filth Fest but by then I was deep into DJ’ing in the Fudge Pit. Think of it as a transitional work between Desperate Living (1977) and Hairspray (1988). It represents Waters’ tribute to two of his key influences – William Castle and Douglas Sirk – and as the long-suffering suburban housewife Francine Fishpaw, features one of Divine’s best and most sympathetic performances. It also represents the last screen performance by the ultimate “outsider actress” Massey (1918-1984) as Francine’s friend Cuddles in a Waters film. For me, Massey and Divine together is one of the great comedic partnerships – like Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz for freaks, queers and punks.

/ Divine as alcoholic suburban housewife Francine Fishpaw in Polyester (1981) /

Further postscript: The Filth Fest was such a success it looks likely to become an annual event.

/ Above and below: Divine as defiant bad girl and career criminal Dawn Davenport in Female Trouble (1974) /

Final postscript: The international sin set has been waiting - and the first Lobotomy Room of 2014 is Saturday 31 May 2014 in the subterranean basement lair of Ryan's Bar in Stoke Newington (or "outer Dalston", as I prefer).

Lobotomy Room – a punkabilly beer blast! A Mondo Trasho evening of Beat, Beat Beatsville Beatnik Rock’n’Roll! Rockabilly Psychosis! Wailing Rhythm and Blues! Twisted Tittyshakers! Punk Cretin Hops! Kitsch! Exotica! Curiosities and other Weird Shit! Think John Waters soundtracks, or Songs The Cramps Taught Us, hosted by Graham Russell (fresh fromThe Amy Grimehouse’s triumphant Filth Fest, regular DJ at Dr. Sketchy London and Cockabilly). Expect desperate stabs from the jukebox jungle! Savage rhythms to make you writhe and rock!

Admission is gratuit (that’s French for FREE!!). If you're working that night -- call in sick. If you're in prison -- BREAK OUT! A sordid and tawdry good time guaranteed!

The Facebook events page

Read about previous Lobotomy Rooms here, here, here, here, here and here

Blue Kat - Chuck Rio and The Originals (Female Trouble)
Edie Conquers Godzilla - Edith Massey
Female Trouble - The Melvins
Fuck Off - Wayne County and The Electric Chairs
Pillowcase - The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black
Punks Get Off the Grass - Edith Massey
Peter Gunn Twist - The Jesters
Peter Gunn Locomotion - The Delmonas
Let's Twist Again - Johnny Hallyday
Twistin' the Night Away - Divine
Chicken Grabber - The Nite Hawks (Pink Flamingos)
Chicken Walk - Hasil Adkins
Chicken - The Cramps
Let's Go Sexin' - James Intveld (A Dirty Shame)
The Swag - Link Wray (Pink Flamingos)
Pussycat Song - Connie Vannett (A Dirty Shame)
Sweet Little Pussycat - Andre Williams
Can Your Pussy Do the Dog? The Cramps
Rock Around the Clock - The Sex Pistols
Breathless - X
Funnel of Love - Wanda Jackson
Lucille - Masaaki Hirao
The Girl Can't Help It - Little Richard (Pink Flamingos)
I Walk Like Jayne Mansfield - The 5,6,7,8s
That Makes It - Jayne Mansfield
Fools Rush In - Ricky Nelson
Devil in Disguise - Elvis Presley
Wipe-Out - The Surfaris
Cry-baby - The Honey Sisters (Cry-baby)
You're Driving Me Crazy - Dorothy Berry
Welfare Cheese - Emanuel Laskey
He's The One - Ike and Tina Turner
Jim Dandy - Sara Lee and The Spades
Whistle Bait - The Collins Kids
Little Girl - Jackie and Johnny
C'mon Everybody - Sid Vicious
Sweetie Pie - Eddie Cochran
Boss - The Rumblers
Dance with Me Henry - Ann-Margret
Beat Party - Ritchie and The Squires
Muleskinner Blues - The Fendermen
Shortnin' Bread - The Readymen
Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen (Pink Flamingos)
Bombora - The Original Surfaris
Intoxica - The Centurions (Pink Flamingos)
Contact - Brigitte Bardot
53rd & 3rd - The Ramones
Rock-a-Bop - Sparkle Moore
Kruschev Twist - Melvin Gayle
Margaya - The Fender 4
How Much Is That Doggie in the Window? Patti Page (Pink Flamingos)
Go Motherfucker Go - Nashville Pussy
Johnny Hit and Run Pauline - X