Reflections on ... The Astro-Zombies (1968)

The Astro-Zombies (1968). Alternate titles: Space Zombies. The Space Vampires. Taglines: “Dismembered Bodies, Transplanted Organs, Are Used to Create The... Astro-Zombies!” “Human Transplants Go Berserk! Beautiful Girls Mutilated! Grotesque Terror! So Shocking You Will Die a Thousand Deaths!” I’m using this period of enforced social isolation to explore the weirder corners of YouTube for long forgotten and obscure movies. (My boyfriend Pal is accompanying me only semi-willingly).

I must admit: this one utterly defeated me. With considerable justification, schlock director Ted V Mikels’ wildly incoherent science fiction horror thriller The Astro-Zombies is widely reviled as one of the worst films ever made. I can’t decide which word describes The Astro-Zombies most accurately: stupefying? Stultifying? What’s certainly unique about it: The Astro-Zombies manages to be both action-packed and eventful, and yet excruciatingly dull. Maybe because the pacing is so “leisurely.”

From what I can gather: in his secret dungeon lair, twisted evil scientist Dr DeMarco (John Carradine) has created a race of “super humans” by re-animating corpses … something something … but instead his creations have turned out to be homicidal “astro- zombies” (who wear what look like vaguely insectoid rubber wrestling masks) … something something … these zombies have escaped and are running amok, rampaging through Los Angeles committing a series of brutal “mutilation murders” … something something … did I mention that like any self-respecting mad scientist, Dr DeMarco has a mute hunchbacked assistant who goes out stealing cadavers for him? (He’s called Franchot) ... something something … the CIA and various evil spies are investigating DeMarco’s experiments for their own ends (I defy you to make sense of this part) ... something something … there are frequent shoot-outs and gruesome murders … something something … but mostly there is endless bad sci fi mumbo jumbo dialogue about things like thought-wave transmissions, pre-designated frequency cycles, memory-retention cells and total astro-mobilization, usually delivered by someone wearing a white coat in a laboratory, holding a test tube or looking into a microscope. The Astro-Zombies is so suspense-free, your eyes will glaze-over!

The Astro-Zombies does have its compensations: everyone drives fabulous atomic-era cars with fins. When the action isn’t taking place in el cheap-o laboratory or dungeon sets there’s some nice stark mid-century décor. All the men have heavily pomaded hair. A memorable nightclub scene features a semi-nude go-go dancer doing a dramatic and artistic interpretive dance in little more than body paint to the accompaniment of exotica music (director Mikels himself is visible playing the bongos).

But forget all that: The Astro-Zombies is most noteworthy for offering steel-cheekboned burlesque glamazon Tura Satana (1938 - 2011) her most substantial movie role outside of Russ Meyer’s 1966 masterpiece Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Whether pacing around her apartment chain-smoking and evilly scheming, stubbing out a lit cigarette on a man’s face and ordering, “Kill him!” or nonchalantly wielding a gun, Satana is fierce as the dragon lady villainess. (Note: the budget was so low Satana wears her own personal wardrobe onscreen). When we’re first introduced to Satana she’s sashaying into a swanky cocktail lounge accompanied by Juan, her mean and sexy switchblade-packing Latino henchman played by the intensely cute and adorable Rafael Campos (who was once married to blues diva Dinah Washington and specialized in juvenile delinquent roles in his youth). These two are dazzlingly stylish together. If you still intend to watch The Astro-Zombies, I’d recommend approaching it as an act of diva worship purely for the majestic Tura Satana.  

Watch The Astro-Zombies below:

Further reading:

My reflections of Tura Satana in Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Read further analyses on The Astro-Zombies here, here and here.