Reflections on ... Three Nuts in Search of a Bolt (1964)

Recently watched: 3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt (1964). (Tagline: “The screwiest comedy of the year!”). 

Renaissance man of vintage smut Tommy Noonan (actor, comedian, screenwriter, director and producer) followed up his witless but profitable 1963 Jayne Mansfield sex farce Promises ... Promises! with this even more witless sex farce a year later. This time, that other Eisenhower-era blonde bombshell Mamie Van Doren steps into Mansfield’s Spring-o-lator heels in the lead role of exotic dancer Saxie Symbol. (Note that Noonan had the rare distinction of appearing onscreen with Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Mansfield in Promises … Promises! and Van Doren here). 

3 Nuts is a slapdash and incoherent mess (for example, for some reason it shuttles between black-and-white and colour), Noonan’s mugging is mind-numbingly unfunny, but it exerts a weird fascination for connoisseurs of bad movies. By this point, Van Doren would have been considered "washed-up" (to quote The Simpsons, “show business is a hideous bitch goddess”) but her 1960s look of dark eye make-up and bouffant up-swept bubble hairdos is irresistible. While never a natural anarchic comedienne like Mansfield, the woman possesses a genuine “je ne sais quoi.” (Also: Van Doren doesn't bare quite as much flesh as Mansfield did in Promises). 

3 Nuts’ best moments are Van Doren’s opening and closing burlesque numbers and the bathtub sequence (it’s like a retro Playboy magazine pictorial come to life. We’re meant to believe Saxie is bathing in beer). The cast also features ultra-campy female impersonator and actor Thomas Craig “T C” Jones as the personal secretary of a sexy female psychiatrist (Ziva Rodann) and he’s good fun. (Jones was also a highlight in Promises … Promises! imitating Tallulah Bankhead and Bette Davis). For what it’s worth, Playboy magazine called 3 Nuts “a zany comedy of Freudian tomfoolery!” Perhaps more accurately, The San Francisco Examiner termed it “a strong candidate for the worst picture of this or any other year.”

Full movie below!

Reflections on ... Monique (1970)

/ Doesn't that swirly retro font instantly promise "erotic film"? /

Recently watched: Monique (1970). I saw in the early hours of 2019 in the manner I intend to continue - watching a dirty movie! I was crashed-out on the sofa after getting in from celebrating New Year’s Eve. My boyfriend had gone to bed. Flicking through the TV stations, I heard the announcer for London Live caution that the proceeding film contained “sexual situations”. Say no more – I’m interested! Monique kept me glued to the screen until 3:30 am!

/ Joan Alcorn as frustrated housewife Jean, on the cusp of her erotic awakening /

The one-sentence IMDb synopsis: “Monique is a vivacious French au pair girl who not only looks after the children, but also sexually satisfies the parents.” Monique is a gloriously tawdry, tatty low-budget British sexploitation film with the kind of décor and clothing that screams “made-in-1969”: in other words, catnip for me. At points it almost felt like a British interpretation of Russ Meyer’s Vixen relocated to South East England suburbia! 

Protagonists Bill and Jean are a stressed young middle-class couple with two children going through a dry patch in their marriage who decide to get a European nanny to assist around the house. They get more than they bargained for with the arrival of go-go booted, micro-mini skirted French temptress Monique. The personification of Continental sophistication, the sexually-assured and liberated Monique is great with the kids, an accomplished cook – and a skilled seductress who lures both husband and wife into bed. 

/ Monique and Jean in an intimate moment /

Monique isn’t the lame Carry On-style “sex comedy” you might expect. It builds convincing sexual tension between the trio and takes a surprisingly sympathetic, non-judgmental and non-exploitative stance on their ménage trois. Bit of a spoiler, but no one gets "punished" for transgressing and at the conclusion Bill and Jean’s dalliance with Monique is shown to spark an erotic awakening that brings them closer together. (And this is decades before concepts like  polysexuality, sexual fluidity and non-monogamy were hot topics). 

/ Altering a dress for Jean, Monique seizes the opportunity to cop a feel. Bill is oblivious /

Director John Bown frequently makes unexpectedly stylish choices. The acting is surprisingly subtle, and the casting is interesting. Bill the husband is a bit ineffectual and weak-willed, but not a one-dimensional lecherous wolf (and the actor who plays him - David Sumner - is a dark-eyed hottie). Joan Alcorn as the frustrated wife gives perhaps the the most nuanced performance in Monique. You genuinely feel that Jean has undergone a transformation by the end. Rather than a stereotypical teenage Lolita / nymphette, Sibylla Kay (the actress who plays the voracious Monique) is a sultry adult woman who appears to be in her early thirties. Striking and unsettling rather than conventionally beautiful, Kay exerts a powerful presence and an almost Marlene Dietrich-like aura of mystery. 

/ Sibylla Kay as the free-spirited sensualist Monique /

Some of the action takes place over Christmas, so as a bonus watching it also felt festive! (They sure liked cheap tinsel on their Christmas trees in '69). Monique is both a time capsule of the swingin' “permissive era” and an unexpected gem. As The Movie Waffler blog concludes, "With its middle class British setting, Monique resembles an episode of something like George and Mildred guest directed by Teorema-era Pasolini." Is there any higher recommendation?

I was crushed to discover Monique isn't available on YouTube! But thankfully its irresistibly lurid trailer is.