14 February 2012 Anti-Valentine's Day Dr Sketchy

/ Happy Valentine's Day, Darling: Sophia Loren having an orgasmic reaction to a bouquet of yellow roses /

I’d been looking forward to the Valentine’s night Dr Sketchy at The Old Queen’s Head for ages. All the ingredients were in place: The night had sold out long in advance. The crowd was buzzing, rowdy and enthusiastic. The talent for the night was top notch: emcee Claire Benjamin (in character as Freuda Kahlo), two sizzling burlesque performers and models (and Dr Sketchy veterans), Sophia St. Villier and Honey Wilde.

Weirdly, for me (and I'm speaking excusively for myself!) the night wound up feeling anti-climactic, stressful, and not one of the more memorable or enjoyable Dr Sketchy nights in recent memory. For some reason the sound was murky and muffled and no one at the Old Queen’s Head seemed to know how to fix it (it improved somewhat later in the night). It got things off to a bad start for me and I stayed jangled the rest of the night. As per usual, I got one of the long-suffering Claire Benjamin’s musical cues wrong. Musically, I wasn't on top form - I suspect things sounded disjointed and abrupt rather than smooth and flowing, as I obviously prefer! In my head I had intended to go for a lush, romantic 1950s Cool Jazz-inspired set in honour of Valentine’s Day, but wasn’t feeling particularly on top of things so it didn’t wind up being that for the most part at all. (Like the 2011 Valentine's Day Dr Sketchy at The Old Queen's Head, though, I did make a point of dropping in three different versions of the Rogers and Hart standard “My Funny Valentine” at climactic moments: the Chet Baker instrumental, the Chet Baker vocal and finally Nico’s morbid dirge-like interpretation). Obviously, the main thing is, all three performers were brilliant and the audience seemed to enjoy themselves.

/ Above: Sophia St. Villier with her favourite portrait of the night. To me, it evokes Ann-Margrock (aka that other red-haired vixen, Ann-Margret) from her guest appearance on The Flintstones -- but Ann-Margrock making the rude, universal pussy-eating gesture! Photo by Honey Wilde /

Death, death, DEATH: this Dr Sketchy was after all called an “Anti-Valentine’s event”, so why not get ghoulish in this post? I recently posted about the demise of Jennifer Miro, icy platinum blonde chanteuse for pioneering San Francisco punk band The Nuns. Obviously music fans have been rocked by the recent deaths of soul legend Etta James and troubled superstar Whitney Houston since then. For me, 4 February 2012 represented two grim anniversaries: foaming-at-the-mouth Cramps frontman (front lunatic?) Lux Interior died 4 February 2009 aged 62. Snarling Russ Meyer leading lady and burlesque artist Tura Satana died 4 February 2011 aged 72. Between them these two pretty much defined for me not just timeless cool, but a whole realm (parallel universe?) of vital, lurid low-life sleaze-allure. Certainly both Tura Satana (and the films of Russ Meyer) and Lux Interior (and the music of The Cramps) shaped my worldview at an impressionable age. RIP.

/ Lux Interior and Poison Ivy of The Cramps: The much-loved Addams Family of punk. Or were they The Munsters of punk? Let's have a heated debate! /

/ Tura Satana ... awesome /

I never got to meet Ms Satana (although I know people who interviewed her). I did, however, have a wonderful encounter with The Cramps as a callow youth in 1990. They were touring in support of their Stay Sick! album (so it was the line-up featuring Bettie Page-tastic brunette Candy Del Mar on bass) and I interviewed them prior to their gig at The Rialto in Montreal for my university newspaper. I’ll never forget the heart-stopping spectacle of The Cramps arriving for their sound-check that afternoon: a zombie-pale fetish-y outlaw gang, a symphony of leopard skin, glistening black rubber and seriously insolent dark shades. These weren’t costumes or personas they wriggled-into for the stage – The Cramps lived it full-time! In fact I seem to recall the 6’3” Lux was already wearing a pair of women’s size 13 patent leather pumps when he arrived for the sound-check. Watching their sound-check gave me goose bumps, then afterwards I interviewed Poison Ivy alone. She apologized that Lux wouldn’t be joining us, but he wasn’t feeling well. I got the impression he had a thunderous hangover. Earlier I'd overheard an employee of The Rialto showing him the catering on offer. “There’s bagels, there’s doughnuts, there’s muffins ...” and Lux suddenly barked, “I just want coffee!” Sometimes only strong, black coffee (life's rich black blood) will suffice. Who amongst us can’t relate to that?

Anyway, interviewing the gracious Poison Ivy (a strikingly beautiful ageless enigma in a leopard skin coat and a pair of diamante-trimmed cat’s eye sunglasses) was a dream and a memory I treasure. I haven’t had a record player in many years, but I still have the Bad Music for Bad People and Stay Sick! albums Ivy autographed for me. The Cramps were one of those bands you assumed would be around forever. They formed in 1976; it was only Lux’s death in 2009 that split them up. Hmmm -- one of these days I should get my act together and post the interview as a blog on here.

The audio and visual quality isn't great (this is the only version I could find on Youtube), but "Bikini Girls with Machine Guns" is one of The Cramps's essential statements, and it dates from when I interviewed them in Montreal.



I Only Have Eyes for You - The Flamingos
Life is But a Dream - The Harptones
Willow Weep for Me - The Whistling Artistry Of Muzzy Marcellino
Melancholy Serenade - King Curtis
Dansero - Don Baker Trio
Anytime - The Bill Black Combo
Town without Pity - James Chance
Sea of Love - The Earls of Suave
Drive In - The Jaguars
Wiped Out - The Escorts
Train to Nowhere - The Champs
Jungle Drums - Earl Bostick
Pass The Hatchet - Roer and The Gypsies
Dance with Me Henry - Ann-Margret
Born to Cry - Dion
Sweetie Pie - Eddie Cochran
Follow the Leader - Wiley Terry
Baby, I'm Doin' It - Annisteen Allen
I Ain't Drunk - Jimmy Liggins
Rockin' Out the Blues - Musical Linn Twins
Green Mosquito - The Tune Rockers
The Mexican - The Fentones
Pretty Good Love - Big Maybelle
I Love the Life I Live - Esquerita
Are You Nervous? The Instrumentals
Czterdziesci Kasztanów (Forty Chestnuts)- Violetta Villas
Virgenes Del Sol - Yma Sumac
Cherry Pink - Bill Black Combo
Sexe - Line Renaud
My Funny Valentine - Chet Baker (instrumental)
Deep Dark Secret - Lizabeth Scott
Lonely Hours - Sarah Vaughan
You're My Thrill - Dolores Gray
La Javanaise - Serge Gainsbourg
Handclapping Time - The Fabulous Raiders
Vesuvius - The Revels
What Do You Think I Am? Ike and Tina Turner
Here Comes the Bug - The Rumblers
Khrushchev Twist - Melvin Gayle
Drummin' Up a Storm - Sandy Nelson
Fever - Timi Yuro
Anasthasia - Bill Smith Combo
My Funny Valentine - Chet Baker (vocal)
You're Crying - Dinah Washington
I'm Through with Love - Marilyn Monroe
My Funny Valentine - Nico
I Walk like Jayne Mansfield - The 5,6,7,8s
Caterpillar Crawl - The Strangers
Boots - Nero & The Gladiators
Sick and Tired - Lula Reed
The Flirt - Shirley and Lee
The Girl Can't Help It - Little Richard

In conclusion: my good friend Sparkle Moore recently posted this video on my Facebook wall, suggesting the berserk operatic Austro-German diva Marika Rökk could be an alternative for much-missed berserk operatic Polska diva Violetta Villas (death -- again!). Watching this, Sparkle might have a point! It's from a 1958 German musical called Bühne frei für Marika (which translates as something like The Stage is Set for Marika -- so in theory she's playing herself!). Sadly, I somehow doubt this title is available on LOVEFiLM. This clip of Rökk as a sexy alien singing "Mir ist so langweilig" ("I'm So Bored", according to Google Translate), crash-landing her space ship on earth -- and then wrestling with a snake and cavorting with a group of spear-carrying Africans in the jungle is so trippy, bizarre and kitsch ... it's beyond words! You have to experience for yourself ...



As an added bonus, listen to a track by Rokk on The Homoerratic Radio Show blog

12 November 2011 Dr Sketchy DJ Set List

/ Kitsch icon Mamie Van Doren, Hollywood's Ultimate 1950s Bad Girl /

This Saturday afternoon Dr Sketchy at The Old Queen’s Head in Angel featured Dr Sketchy veteran Marianne Cheesecake as the burlesque performer and model, Claire Benjamin in character as Freuda Kahlo as the emcee and Trixi Tassels on stage-managing duties. We also had comedian Jeff Leach as an unexpected bonus male model. He showed up with a camera crew to film him for an upcoming BBC Three documentary to be entitled Am I a Sex Addict? – and proceeded to pose stark, raving bollock naked, which really made an impression. Let’s just say he has porn star characteristics, and swiftly move on. (Having seen him pose at Dr Sketchy, I for one would personally be glad to help Jeff Leach in his research into determining whether he is indeed a sex addict. This was one of the Dr Sketchy’s where we really needed a photographer present!).

The vivacious Claire Benjamin always brings an element of genuine theatrical performance art to Dr Sketchy when she emcees – which keeps me on my toes and sometimes finds me wanting. She had three different pieces of music for me to play at specific times: introductory music to come onto the stage to, and backing tracks for the two songs she sang (one of them – her big finale – the Carmen Miranda standard “I Yi Yi Yi Yi Yi (Like You Very Much)”, for which she dons a plastic fruit-covered turban). I managed to get all three music cues wrong – without exception! Not some of my better moments. Hey, I was drinking lager all afternoon. Thankfully (and luckily for me) Claire is so smoothly professional (and so infinitely forgiving!) she just took it in her stride, and the audience seemed none the wiser. Yikes!

Like I said earlier – a shame we didn’t have a photographer at this Dr Sketchy. For one thing, Marianne Cheesecake’s costumes were dazzling. For her first pose she was styled as a 1920s flapper with a Louise Brooks pageboy wig. Later, for her performance she wore an astonishing Marie Antoinette get-up with a huge exploding black and white-streaked wig (think of a Cruella de Ville-Lily Munster-Bride of Frankenstein -Marge Simpson hybrid and you're on the right track) with a mask like a crystal chandelier hanging over her face. My description doesn't do it justice! It looked indredibly decadent and striking. I'll see if I can hustle some photos of Marianne in this costume (she showed me some on her phone, so they exist) and post them later, but in the meantime here is a tease-o-rama clip of Marianne Cheesecake paying tribute to the great Josephine Baker.



Spinning a few tracks by quintessential 1950s B-movie bad girl Mamie Van Doren always feels de rigeur when I DJ at Dr Sketchy. Van Doren was a voluptuous platinum blonde contemporary of Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield in the 50s, but unlike them she never managed to graduate to big budget A-list films, instead finding her natural habitat in kitschy drive-in exploitation films (her irresistibly bad filmography includes the likes of The Girl in the Black Stockings (1957), Sex Kittens Go to College (1960), The Las Vegas Hillbillies (1966) and Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women (1966)). Van Doren seemed to play teenage juvenile delinquents well into her twenties (in Girls Town (1959), even with her perky ponytail and tight Capri pants, the 28-year old Van Doren seems pretty overripe, fleshy and mature for a high school student).

/ Bullet-bra'd sweater girl Mamie Van Doren /

In 1956 Van Doren’s rival Jayne Mansfield would appear alongside rockabilly legends Little Richard, Gene Vincent and Eddie Cochran in The Girl Can’t Help It, the deluxe Mercedes Benz of rock’n’roll musicals (and a key film for John Waters). Van Doren herself would go one better: an interesting footnote to her career is that she can genuinely claim to be the first female Hollywood star to sing rock’n’roll onscreen. In Untamed Youth (1957) her songs were written by rockabilly legend Eddie Cochran (he plays guitar on them, too) – and they’re not half bad (although it’s been pointed out that it’s a crime against music that the doomed Cochran – who’d be dead by 1960 – was only permitted to perform one onscreen song in Untamed Youth, while Van Doren has four!). Van Doren’s musical output is compiled on the highly enjoyable CD The Girl Who Invented Rock’n’Roll. It’s campy as hell, undisputed Queen of Rockabilly Wanda Jackson's reputation is secure, and for someone famous for her sensationally ample rack Van Doren’s singing is oddly flat, but Cochran’s tight, twangy songs pack a wallop, and Van Doren (in a punky display of enthusiasm over ability) delivers them with verve, conviction and a genuine feel for rock’n’roll . (Needless to say, I always play some of Van Doren’s 50s rockabilly songs when I DJ at Cockabilly, too). In High School Confidential (1958) – probably Van Doren’s best film – she doesn't sing, but it features an unhinged Jerry Lee Lewis pounding-out the title tune on his piano over the opening credits – a timeless rock’n’roll moment.



/ The trailer for Untamed Youth – the kind of lurid juvenile delinquent film that inspired John Waters’s Crybaby (1990). In the trailer you see snatches of Van Doren performing “Salamander” and “Go, Calypso!” – two tracks I play frequently at Dr Sketchy /

Now a zaftig 80-year old, Van Doren remains an unrepentant scantily-clad and platinum-haired exhibitionist. Still a publicity-hungry starlet, she's active on the Hollywood social scene and parties at Hugh Hefner’s Playboy mansion (Van Doren herself posed for Playboy in 1963). In 2006 she was photographed in a dual portrait with her spiritual heiress Pamela Anderson for Vanity Fair magazine. On her outrageous website sells autographed nipple prints (yes, she puts lipstick on her nipples, presses them onto paper and sells them) and cavorts for carefully-lit, heavily-retouched soft-core nudie photos and videos. In 1987 Van Doren unleashed her memoirs Playing the Field, in which she gleefully spills the beans about all the male Hollywood stars she slept with over the years and rates their sexual performances. (I haven’t read the book in well over twenty years, but I’ll never forget her describing dropping acid with Steve McQueen and having sex with him while tripping. Her prose turns psychedelic: “You you. Me me. I’m your dancing Mamie doll ...”).

She’s had a remarkable life; there’s a revealing interview with her on Salon.com from 2000 in which Van Doren holds forth on her life and career and emerges as an intelligent and sensitive woman. She recalls the sensual and cougar-ish older woman Marlene Dietrich giving her an appraising eye up and down backstage in 1957 (Van Doren didn’t realise at the time Dietrich was bisexual, otherwise she would have taken her up on the offer) and says the most meaningful work she ever did was long after her Hollywood career had fizzled out, risking her life to entertain American troops in war-torn Vietnam in the late 60s. “I have had more of a sex life than a love life,” she admits in the interview, “Love was secondary to me” and concludes, “My best asset is my brain. Without my brain, I don’t think the rest of me would be too hot.” Rock on, Mamie van Doren – the Jayne Mansfield who survived to see old age.


/ Singing in the shower: A clip of Van Doren in Girls Town (1959)which apparently got deleted from the final film for censorship reasons /

D-Rail - The Flintones
Mama Looka Boo Boo (Shut You Mouth - Go Away!) - Robert Mitchum
Rolling Stone - Mamie van Doren
Don't Be Cruel - Bill Black Combo
Unchain My Heart - Florence Joelle's Kiss of Fire
Oui je veux - Johnny Hallyday
Sea of Love - The Earls of Suave
Caterpillar Crawl - The Strangers
Dance with Me Henry - Ann-Margret
Kruschev Twist - Melvin Gayle
Work with It - Que Martin
I Walk Like Jayne Mansfield - 5,6,7,8s
Dragon Walk - The Noble Men
Comin' Home, Baby - The Delmonas
That's a Pretty Good Love - Big Maybelle
Bacon Fat - Andre Williams
This Thing Called Love - Esquerita
Mambo Baby - Ruth Brown
Cherry Pink - Bill Black Combo
Vírgenes del Sol - Yma Sumac
Je Me Donne A Qui Me Plait - Brigitte Bardot
Some Small Chance - Serge Gainsbourg (Strip-tease soundtrack)
Lullabye of Birdland - Eartha Kitt
Crazy Horse Swing - Serge Gainsbourg (Strip-tease soundtrack)
Do It Again - April Stevens
You're My Thrill - Chet Baker (instrumental version)
A Guy What Takes His Time - Marlene Dietrich
Harlem Nocturne - The Viscounts
Take it Off - The Genteels
Tony's Got Hot Nuts - Faye Richmonde
The Strip - The Upsetters
The Whip - The Frantics
Beat Party - Ritchie & The Squires
Revellion - The Revels
Chattanooga Choo Choo - Denise Darcel
The Beast - Milt Buckner
Rockin' Bongos - Chaino
Give Me Love - Lena Horne
Sexe - Line Renaud
The Good Life - Ann-Margret
La Javanaise - Juliette Greco
The Stripper - John Barry (Beat Girl soundtrack)
Un Jour Comme Un Autre - Brigitte Bardot
I Feel So Mmmm - Diana Dors
Kiss - Marilyn Monroe
Angel Face - Billy Fury
Night Walk - The Swingers
Black Coffee - Julie London
Sometimes I Wish I Had a Gun - Mink Stole
The Bee - The Sentinels
De Castrow - JayBee Wasden
Bewildered - Shirley and Lee
No Good Lover - Mickey and Sylvia
Crawfish - Johnny Thunders and Patti Paladin
Stop and Listen - Mickey and Ludella
Suey - Jayne Mansfield
Groovy - Groovey and The Groovers
Bossa Nova Baby - Elvis Presley

I haven’t posted a tittyshaker video in a while. To remedy that, here is an eye-popping clip from the ultra-sleazy 1960 British sexploitation / juvenile delinquent flick Beat Girl (aka Wild for Kicks). I’ve posted before that its suave Cool Jazz-inflected John Barry soundtrack is an endless source of inspiration for my DJ’ing at Dr Sketchy. In this clip, jailbait teenage bad girl Gillian Hills (painstakingly styled to look exactly like Brigitte Bardot) has snuck into a Soho strip club and stares bug-eyed at exotic café con leche-skinned performer Pascaline’s burlesque routine – and who can blame her, when it mostly seems to consist of crotch-thrusting, floor-humping and ponytail twirling? (By the way: this nice piece of quasi-Mambo music that Pascaline dances to isn’t actually on the Beat Girl soundtrack – weird. Makes me wonder if this sequence was added after the film was completed to spice things up? We get glimpses of other striptease numbers in Beat Girl, but Pascaline's is by far the raunchiest.)

Saturday 6 August 2011 Dr Sketchy Set List at The Old Queen’s Head

/ Peru's volcanic Yma Sumac -- the high priestess of Latin Exotica /

After some turbulent recent Dr Sketchy’s at The Royal Vauxhall where I was overwhelmed with technical glitches (fuses blowing, malfunctioning CDs), was reassuring to have a laid-back Saturday afternoon Dr Sketchy at The Old Queen’s Head where everything just went smoothly. It also helped that the audience was buzzing and up for it, and ace stage manager-ess Trixi Tassels kept me topped up with beer all afternoon!

Making her debut as a Dr Sketchy emcee was the brilliant comedienne and performance artist Claire Benjamin (in character as “Freuda Kahlo” (sic), complete with hirsute mono-brow, hint of a moustache and broad comedy “Spanglish” accent). At one point I had to introduce Freuda onto the stage – the first time I’ve ever spoken into the microphone at a Dr Sketchy. Amazing how nervous it made me! I had to write down word for word my introduction, and then mentally rehearse it in my head! (Bear in mind all I was saying was something along the lines of, “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage your hostess ...”). So now I’m also technically a performer / actor. It’s gone straight to my head and I’m well on my way to becoming a temperamental artiste. Next time I’ll demand to know what my “motivation” is.

The model / performer for the day was Tempest Rose, who exuded such impeccable old-school glamour and poise I toned down the usual raunch and aimed for something a bit more elegant music-wise while she posed. Inspired by Claire’s Freuda Kahlo persona, I also went heavy on the Latin exotica like mambo and bossa nova (For her big finale, Freuda donned some plastic fruit on her head and sang Carmen Miranda’s "I, Yi, Yi, Yi, Yi (I Like You Very Much)").


Miss Irene - Ginny Kennedy
Women are the Root of All Evil - Paul Williams
Jungle Drums - Earl Bostick
No Good Lover - Mickey and Sylvia
The Flirt - Shirley and Lee
Take Half - Hal Singer
Crazy, Crazy Feeling - Esquerita
Red Hot - Billy Lee Riley
Astrosonic - Jimmie Haskell and Orchestra
I Ain't in the Mood - Helen Humes
Yogi - The Bill Black Combo
Hanky Panky - Rita Chao & The Quests
Caravan - The Dell Trio
Drive-In - The Jaguars
The Beast - Milt Buckner
Give Me Love - Lena Horne
Anasthasia - Bill Smith Combo
Mack the Knife - Eartha Kitt
Begin the Beguine - Ann-Margret
Womp Womp - Freddie & The Heartaches
You're My Thrill - Chet Baker
Blues in the Night - Julie London
I Put a Spell on You - Nina Simone
Taki Ruro - Yma Sumac
Ou-es tu, ma joie? Caterina Valente
Peter Gunn Mambo - Jack Costanzo
Laisse-moi tranquille - Serge Gainsbourg
Mambo Baby - Ruth Brown
Rum & Coca Cola - Wanda Jackson
She Wants to Mambo - Johnny Thunders and Patti Paladin
Chihuahua - Mina
Chihuahua - Luis Oliveira and His Bandodalua Boys
I've Been in Love Before - Marlene Dietrich
Some Small Chance - Serge Gainsbourg (Strip-tease soundtrack)
I Travel Alone - Hildegard Knef
Mondo Moodo - The Earls of Suave
Strip-tease - Juliette Greco
Misirlou - Laurindo Almeida
Pop Slop - Bela Sanders Und Sein Orchester
Oh Honey - Gloria Wood
Take Half - Hal Singer (yes, it appears I played this twice)
Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby - Ann Richards
Imagination - Diana Dors
Blues in My Heart - John Buzon Trio
Don't You Feel My Leg - Blue Lu Barker
One Night of Sin - Elvis Presley
Chattanooga Choo Choo - Denise Darcel
All of Me - Mae West
You Can't Stop Her - Bobby Marchan
The Girl Can't Help It - Little Richard
Salamander - Mamie van Doren
Jim Dandy - LaVerne Baker
That's a Pretty Good Love - Big Maybelle
Groovy - The Groovers
Suey - Jayne Mansfield
Beat Party - Ritchie and The Squires
Moi je joue - Brigitte Bardot



 An ethereal Marlene Dietrich mesmerises a young John Wayne by huskily warbling "I've Been in Love Before" in the film Seven Sinners (1940)

13 July 2011 Dr Sketchy DJ Set List

/ Fun couple: Elvis Presley and flame-haired burlesque icon, Tempest Storm in the 1950s. (According to her, they were lovers until Colonel Parker broke it up). Tempest is 83 now and still performs occasionally. She made an appearance at the Viva Las Vegas rockabilly weekender this year. I snatched a photo of her at the car show. See it here /

Wow. Just ... wow. This night at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern was the nadir of my DJ’ing career to date – I was completely overwhelmed by technical glitches.

It started well enough. Performance artist Claire Benjamin (in the persona of her character Obsessia Compulsia D’Sorda) did a great, strange, edgy piece. The burlesque performer for the evening was emergent Australian starlet Ava Iscariot, who’s performed at Dr Sketchy before. The song for her number was by Marilyn Manson. I tested her CD by playing a snatch of it early on, and it worked just fine. You’d think I would have learned from the debacle with Chocolat's CD the last time I DJ'd at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern!


Claire Benjamin in character as Obsessia Compulsia D’Sorda, filmed in performance at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern in 2009

Anyway, Ava’s track was ready and I pressed play when it was her cue. I stepped away from the decks to watch her perform. It was all going smoothly. Her track was 4-minutes long: about two minutes and 11 seconds into it, the CD abruptly stopped playing! Needless to say, as soon as anything audio-related goes wrong, every head in the venue swivels to stare at me! Poor Ava stopped dead in her tracks: she was standing with her back to the audience, about to unlace her corset and was looking at me wondering what the hell was happening. I was frantically jabbing “Play” and nothing was happening. The ever-unflappable emcee Dusty Limits swung into action and quickly brought Claire Benjamin back onto the stage to pose while I tried to work out what the hell was wrong with Ava’s CD. I tried to stick on another song to at least provide music while Clare was posing (the sound of silence and the audience murmuring was freaking me out! The multi-talented Claire played the musical saw, Dietrich-style, while she posed, by the way), but this time I couldn’t get anything to come out of the other CD deck either – and when I pressed the “Open” button, the CD drawer wouldn’t open!

By now sweat beads were popping out of my head and I was getting frenzied. The Royal Vauxhall Tavern manager came over: we established that Ava’s CD was simply faulty (I played it again through my headphones and it consistently stopped at the same point), and that the reason I couldn’t coax any music out of the decks or even open the CD drawers was because a fuse had blown! What are the odds of both these things happening at once? Could only happen to me! (And by the way: the night was being filmed, and apparently a Time Out journalist was in attendance).

Once the blown fuse was fixed, I was able to get back on track, although the rest of the night was a jittery blur. (My nerves were shot. I self-medicated with beer; had one mutha of a hangover the next day at work). Mercifully a friend of Ava’s had the song she needed on his iPod. We hooked up his iPod to the decks so Ava was able to come back out at the end of the night and do her (excellent) routine properly. Phew!

Now let’s never speak of this night again...

Follow the Leader - Wiley Terry
Bacon Fat - Andre Williams
Baby, I'm Doin' It - Annisteen Allen
Mambo Baby - Ruth Brown
She Wants to Mambo - Johnny Thunders and Patti Paladin
Mambo Miam Miam - Serge Gainsbourg
Unchain My Heart - Florence Joelle
I Was Born to Cry - Dion
Fever - The Delmonas
My Baby Does the Hanky Panky - Rita Chao & The Quests
Here Comes the Bug - The Rumblers
One More Beer - The Earls of Suave
Revelion - The Revels
Leave Married Women Alone - Jimmy Cavallo
Little Girl - John and Jackie
It - The Regal-Aires
Save It - Mel Robbins
Bikini with No Top on the Top - Mamie van Doren and June Wilkinson
The Flirt - Shirley and Lee
Maybe Baby - Esquerita
The Sneak - Jimmy Oliver
Heartbreakin' Special - Duke Larson
Jungle Walk - The Dyna-Sores
Bop Pills - Macy "Skip" Skipper
Shombalor - Sheriff and The Revels
Cheesecake - The Nite Sounds
Drive-In - The Jaguars
C'est si Bon - April Stevens
Some Small Chance - Serge Gainsbourg (Strip-tease soundtrack)
Kiss Me - Dolores Gray
Shangri-La - Spike Jones New Band
Beat Party - Ritchie & The Squires
Java Partout - Juliette Greco
Caravan - John Buzon Trio
Yogi - Bill Black Combo
Gimme a Pigfoot (And a Bottle of Beer) - Nina Simone
Work with It - Que Martin
Dragon Walk - The Noblemen
Snow Surfin' Matador - Jan Davis
8 Ball - The Hustlers
Love for Sale - Eartha Kitt
The Lonely Hours - Sarah Vaughan
Crawlin' - The Untouchables
Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Gene Vincent
Bossa Nova Baby - Elvis Presley
Jim Dandy - Ann-Margret
Beat Girl - John Barry (Beat Girl soundtrack)
Ne Me Laisse Pas L'Aimer - Brigitte Bardot
Tall Cool One - The Wailers
Womp Womp - Freddie & The Heartaches
Your Love is Mine - Ike and Tina Turner
The Bee - The Sentinels
The Coo - Wayne Cochran
I Walk like Jayne Mansfield - The 5,6,7,8s


Shombalor by Sheriff & The Revels